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How to Love People Who Are Hard to Love - Part 1
- by I don’t believe anyone gets up in the morning and thinks, I just can’t wait to see how many people I can make miserable today. I often say that hurting people hurt people.
Most of the pain and anguish we receive
from other people is a result of their own pain. When someone is
miserable, it inevitably comes out somewhere—and it usually comes out on
somebody.
The truth is, we’re never going to be able
to prevent people from saying or doing things that hurt our feelings.
We will always have opportunities to get offended. But if we do things
God’s way, we can choose to save ourselves a lot of misery and hardship.
This doesn’t mean we allow people to abuse
us. No, there is a time for confronting people and dealing with
situations. However, the Bible commands us to love our enemies and
forgive those who have wronged us.
You may consider some of the people in your life and think, Joyce, that’s impossible!
Believe me, I’ve been in your shoes and I
know how you feel. But everything the Lord asks us to do in the Bible is
ultimately for our good. In fact, when we choose to love our enemies
and forgive those who have hurt us, we are actually helping ourselves
more than anyone else.
So, how do you love the people in your life who are hard to love?
Well, I believe a good place to begin is
to stop thinking, “I can’t!” Because whatever the Lord commands us to
do, He is going to give us the power of the Holy Spirit to accomplish
it—and that includes loving and being good to difficult people!
I personally believe that showing loving
to someone who doesn’t deserve or expect it is absolutely one of the
most powerful things we can do. Because in that moment they see
God...and He’s the one Who can truly change their hearts.
Believe the Best
First Corinthians 13:7 says that ...love is ever ready to believe the best of every person....
When someone hurts our feelings or offends
us, we have a choice. We can think, You did this on purpose just to
upset me! Or we can choose to believe the best and think:
Well, they must be having a difficult day
and probably didn’t even realize they were being rude to me. Maybe
something difficult is going on in their life. It most likely has
nothing to do with me.
I know that I desire for others to show me
a lot of grace of mercy and give me the benefit of the doubt when I’m
having a bad day or hurt their feelings without realizing it. No one is
perfect, and we can all use a little room to be human.
Pray for Yourself
I don’t know how many years I prayed for
God to change my husband Dave. In my mind, he was always the problem.
Thank heaven, I finally learned the importance of adopting a humble
attitude.
Now I pray more like this: “God, I would
like for you to change Dave. But Lord, I may not even see this right—I
may be the problem. God, first deal with me if I need to change.”
As we humble ourselves and ask the Lord to
change us, it’s amazing how it will transform our relationships and our
attitude toward others.
Pray for Others
It’s easy to give someone an ultimatum
like, “If you don’t change your ways, I’m leaving you!” They may change
for a while, but their bad behavior will eventually come back because
their heart hasn’t changed.
We should pray that God will help people
to be all He wants them to be and do all He wants them to do. Pray the
Lord will help them get to the root of their problems and realize when
they’re hurting other people.
I truly believe that we can use kindness
as a weapon to overcome the meanness in people. Because God’s love
flowing through us is strong enough to melt even the hardest hearts.
Let Them Out of the Dog House
Is there someone in your life who is
difficult to love? If so, take a few moments to pray for yourself and
them right now. Then choose to begin putting the following principles
into practice.
1. Believe the best (1 COR 13:7)
2. Pray for yourself (MATT 7:3-5)
3. Pray for them (MATT 5:44)
4. Be ready to forgive (EPH 4:32)
5. Cover their sin (1 PET 4:8)
6. Don’t gossip! (PROV 11:13)
7. Bless them with your words (EPH 4:29)
8. Help them if they need help (LUKE 6:27)
9. Don’t gloat when they have trouble (PROV 24:17)
10. Treat people the way you want to be treated (MATT 7:12)
2. Pray for yourself (MATT 7:3-5)
3. Pray for them (MATT 5:44)
4. Be ready to forgive (EPH 4:32)
5. Cover their sin (1 PET 4:8)
6. Don’t gossip! (PROV 11:13)
7. Bless them with your words (EPH 4:29)
8. Help them if they need help (LUKE 6:27)
9. Don’t gloat when they have trouble (PROV 24:17)
10. Treat people the way you want to be treated (MATT 7:12)
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