The Rock Almighty God Doesn't Hate You When He Corrects You And What Should Determine the Way a Believer Should Think, Speak, and Act?

 

What Should Determine the Way a Believer Should Think, Speak, and Act?

• Author James Rondinone

PART 7 TESTIMONY

What Should Determine the Way a Believer Should Think, Speak, and Act?

Should Christians follow societal norms or God’s norms in the way they think, speak, and act?

This is the dilemma facing many Christians. We have become born-again. We have received the Holy Spirit into our lives, and subsequently, a new nature. Eventually, we find out that the way we have been thinking about ourselves, about others, and the circumstances of life are diametrically opposed to the way God would have us to think.

Irrespective of God’s Word, we want to continue in our eros romantic, passionate love because we have a desire for it, it brings us pleasure, and maybe even because we consider God’s view on this area of our life as being antiquated. And in whatever form or expression this love takes us, we believe that God will sanction it because it’s between two people or maybe even more than two people, and how could God not sanction love between people, right?  

It’s not for me to determine what God should respect concerning what I think, speak, or act. Rather it is up to God to declare to me through His Word and by the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit the way I should think, speak and act now that I have become a Christian, a new creature, His adopted son, or daughter.

As was asked in the title of this chapter, what should determine the way a believer should think, speak, and act?

Any idea as to what the answer is to this question? The following verse tells us so.

2 Timothy 3:16

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

This verse tells us that it is Scripture that provides for us the proper perspective as to how we as Christians should think, speak and act. The last part of the words of this verse for instruction in righteousness pertains to our study at hand. These words refer to instruction that produces proper behavior. So, there you have it.

In this regard, let’s take a look at Scriptures from the New Testament and see what God’s Word declares to us concerning those sexual behaviors that He condones and those that He doesn’t.

We’ll begin by going to the book of 1 Corinthians. These initial verses that we will look at seem to clarify two expressions of sexual activity that God approves of and one expression that He doesn’t.

 

1 Corinthians 7:1-2

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Some believe that this exhortation had to do with a letter the apostle Paul received from those in the church at Corinth concerning issues relating to marriage. Paul talked about the fact that it was good for a man not to touch a woman, probably for three reasons. One, if he was called to be celibate in the plan of God for a period of time. Second, if there was a desire for the sexual union, then they should not commit fornication (having sex outside of marriage) but get married (having sex within marriage). Third, in God’s eyes, being celibate or getting married is a witness or testimony of God’s approval of each condition.

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

The apostle Paul further emphasized the point that if you can’t constrain yourself with the woman you are with, then avoid fornication (immorality), let every single man enter into marriage with the woman he is with, and vice versa.

I think what is being said in these verses would allow us to conclude that God sanctions celibacy according to His plan and will and marriage between a man and a woman. And we could also deduce that fornication is not condoned. This is a start to finding out what sexual practices are approved by God for Christians to engage in and which ones are not.

The next book we will take a look at is the book of Romans.

 

Suggested Reading: Romans 1:16-33

Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

The apostle Paul in his writing to the saints at Rome began his letter by telling them that he longed to visit them and that he was not ashamed of the gospel of Christ (the Good News which relates to the Messiah, to His character, advent, preaching, death, resurrection, and ascension79) in that it is the power (the means) of God unto salvation to those (to save those) who believe.

And then he talked about those who have decided not to respond to the gospel, to whom God has made known to them that He exists, that He is real, being evidenced outwardly through the observation of the created universe and inwardly in their conscience. Yet, they still chose not to worship Him, and neither were they thankful. As they made the decision to disregard Him and live for themselves, they became wise in their own eyes. They considered themselves cultivated, skilled and learned, but sadly, such self-absorption can lead to doing shameful things.

Romans 1:24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

So, God also gave them up (left them to their own self-determination80) to uncleanness (moral and spiritual depravity). Concerning this, He gave two examples of this type of sexual behavior.

Romans 1:26-27 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Some of the unbelieving women were given over to a diseased condition out of which lust sprang to vile (disgraceful) affections (passions). They changed the natural relations with men in marriage to unnatural relations with women to do that, which is against natural laws. Likewise, there were some men who left the natural relations with women to have relations with men, thus engaging in an all-out endeavor to satisfy their [totally depraved natures],81 the result (penalty) of such would be that they would receive evil consequences and punishment from God.                                                  

Romans 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Furthermore, we are told that God gave (let them do what they pleased82) them (unbelievers) over to a reprobate mind (a mind that cannot form right judgments83) to do those things which are not convenient (which expressed itself in attitudes and actions that ought not to be done84).

A list of these attitudes and actions is presented in the following verses.

Romans 1:29-31 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

There appears to be only one of these attitudes/actions that is associated with sexual conduct, and that is the word fornication (all sexual contact between the sexes which is beyond the bounds of lawful marriage85). After which, the apostle Paul proclaimed what God’s response was toward those unbelievers, who were habitually entertaining these attitudes and practicing these actions.

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

Who knowing (in their conscience) the judgment of God (the grand rule of right which God has revealed to every man86), that they who are habitually practicing these things will receive punishment from his hand.87 We are not told what these consequences or judgments from God are, but what we have been made aware of is that these will be imposed on those who engage in such sexual actions, i.e., fornication, homosexuality, and lesbianism.

Does this proclamation on consequence and judgment hold true only for unbelievers? If someone becomes saved, does this mean that these attitudes and actions are sanctioned by God? Just keep on keeping on, and we’ll find out.

The next section of Scriptures we will look at will confirm two sexual actions that are condoned by God and two sexual actions that are not.

Please go to the book of 1 Timothy.

            

Suggested Reading: 1 Timothy 3:1-7

1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.                     

The apostle Paul is talking about the possibility that if someone desire (seeks after) the office of a bishop (pastor), he desires a good work (an honorable office). As to this leadership office, there is much debate today as to what qualifies someone to be a pastor. In this particular book of the Bible, there is presented one divine skill associated with this office along with other qualifications. One of the qualifications pertaining to this office leadership gift concerns a sexual relationship that is condoned by God. Any idea which one this is?

2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 

One of the qualifications for someone seeking the office of pastor is that he must be the husband of one wife. This is not to say that a single person cannot seek the leadership office of the pastor. Does this mean that if he were divorced, he would be unable to seek this office? Validly divorced people who remarried were considered married to one spouse.88 The keywords just mentioned are validly divorced.

There are two main issues at stake here. Some would say that the word husband clearly indicates that a pastor can only be a male. This is a study in and of itself. I have addressed this perception in a different study entitled, “Who Says Women Can’t Lead? - We have been told from the pulpit that only men have been called to the leadership positions of the church. - Uncovered truths and new translations have challenged this perspective.”

The next issue to address is, what do the words of one wife mean? These words refer to the marital conditions that must be met for someone to be considered for this office. What are they, you ask? Those marital conditions that are allowed and those that are not allowed are listed below. Let’s take a look at them.

Marital conditions that are allowed for a born-again Christian to seek the office of pastor.

If a Christian is married to an unbeliever, and the unbeliever chooses to leave the marriage,

then the believer is allowed to divorce and remarry. 1 Corinthians 7:15

If a Christian is married to either a believer or unbeliever, who decides to engage in an extramarital affair, then the Christian is allowed to divorce and remarry. Matthew 19:9

If the husband or wife dies, then the Christian is allowed to remarry. Romans 7:2

If a Christian is married to a believer and the believer chooses to leave the marriage (separation, not divorce) while remaining unmarried without engaging in an extramarital affair, then the Christian is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Marital conditions that are not allowed for a born-again Christian to seek the office of pastor.                                                                                    

If the Christian seeks a divorce when their believing spouse chooses to leave the marriage

(separation) while remaining unmarried without engaging in an extramarital affair. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

What else could we assume from the qualification of being the husband of one wife? We could deduce that marriage is between one man and one woman. This would, therefore, not condone the practice of polygamy or marriage between people of the same gender.

With that said, the literal name of the sexual practice we will take a look at next is not found in Scripture. However, there are examples of it in the Old and New Testaments. Any idea what this could be referring to? Let’s begin by taking a look at the words used to describe it, along with those people who would be considered as engaged in such from the Old Testament.

Please go to the book of Leviticus.

 

Suggested Reading: Leviticus 18:1-16

Usually, when I do a study on most biblical topics that pertain to the Church Age, the age during which we Christians currently live, I don’t use Scriptures from the Old Testament to support a New Testament perspective on doctrine. However, in this instance, because there are such limited examples of this sexual practice, I have decided to have us take a look at how the Jews under Moses’ guidance viewed this. What is this sexual practice? Read on.

1 And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying,

The Lord (Yahweh) is instructing Moses to convey His thoughts on the sexual practice of incest to the children of Israel. Believe it or not, the transliteration of the Hebrew or Greek word for incest appears nowhere in the Old or New Testaments. When we think of incest today, probably many of us think of sexual relations between a brother and sister or even cousins. However, what we are about to find out, at least as far as the Old Testament goes, is that this involved more family members than first thought. Because I could find very little about this in the New Testament, why not at least take a look at what sexual relations were considered as incestual in the Old Testament.

6 None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord.

The words that are used in this context for incest are near of kin. Generally speaking, these words included the extended family as well as the immediate family.89 Below are the many verses that pertain to the instances where sexual relations would be considered incest. Let’s read them over, and then I will provide a clearer summary as to who was involved.

7 The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

8 The nakedness of thy father's wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father's nakedness.

9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

10 The nakedness of thy son's daughter, or of thy daughter's daughter, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover: for theirs is thine own nakedness.

11 The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

12 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's sister: she is thy father's near kinswoman.

13 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister: for she is thy mother's near kinswoman.

14 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy father's brother, thou shalt not approach to his wife: she is thine aunt.

15 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy daughter in law: she is thy son's wife; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.

16 Thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy brother's wife: it is thy brother's nakedness.

The wording of these verses could be confusing as to who is who. So, according to UBS [United Bible Society] Old Testament Handbook, incest could involve sexual relations of a son with his own mother; a son with his stepmother; a brother with his sister; a brother with his stepsister; a father with his son’s or daughter’s daughter (a grandchild); a son with his father’s or mother’s sister; a son with his father’s brother’s wife; a father with his son’s wife; and a son with his brother’s wife. Whew.

With this in mind, how do the New Testament Scriptures define incest?

Are the descriptions of what constitutes incest under Moses and the Jews the same for believers in the New Testament?

Are there any examples of incest in the New Testament?

There might be one that is found in the book of 1 Corinthians. Let’s turn there.

 

1 Corinthians 5:1

It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.

Here is an example of a man having been found out to have had sexual relations with his father’s wife, who was actually his stepmother. At this time, I’m sure the Jewish faith would consider this as incest, and it probably would be looked upon as such in the same manner by the New Testament church unless Scripture declared otherwise. The consequence of this offense was that certain ones in the church met together and decided to impose censure on this believer, thus removing him from fellowship for a fixed period of time.

I assume that the reason he was not excommunicated was that he probably repented of this sin when he was brought before those of the assembly who were in charge of hearing such matters. And presumably, when the allotted time for him to be reinstated to fellowship was up that there would probably be those believers who could testify on his behalf as to whether or not he was continuing to engage in such sexual activity. 

In the United States, laws regarding incest (i.e., sexual activity between family members or close relatives) vary considerably between jurisdictions. In all that two states (and the special case of Ohio, which “targets only parental figures”), incest between consenting adults is criminalized. In New Jersey and Rhode Island, incest between consenting adults (16 or over for Rhode Island, 18 or over for New Jersey) is not a criminal offense, though marriage is not allowed in either state.90

I don’t believe there are any other examples of incest in the New Testament. As we have just been made aware, there is a lack of consensus by the states as to whether this act is considered criminal. However, what we do know is that every state has concluded that anyone involved in such a relationship is not allowed to get married. And furthermore, scripturally speaking, any incestual sexual relationship would be classified as committing fornication.

So, how should we as Christians regard incest? I believe it should be regarded by us as a behavior that is not condoned.

Are there any other Scriptures that mention sexual relations with which Christians should not be involved?

Let’s go forward to the book of 1 Corinthians.

    

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

The apostle Paul declares a truth, which is not a surprise according to the Christian faith, that the unrighteous (the unsaved) shall not inherit (enter into) the Kingdom of God. And for whatever reason, perhaps because at the time, certain sins were considered acceptable in society and even esteemed as a means to worship or to satisfy some false deity, anyone who would commit such would not enter into God’s Kingdom. Some of the sins mentioned, which are sexual in the description, are as follows.

Fornicators – Those who have sex outside of marriage.

Adultery – Sex with someone who is not your husband or wife.

Effeminate or the abusers of themselves with mankind - the passive and active partners ... in male homosexual [relations] (Barrett);91 men who submit to or who practice homosexuality.92

And after he mentioned these various behaviors, he said to the believers at Corinth that such were some of their actions that they themselves were involved in, but at salvation, three things happened to them which changed their lives forever.

They were washed.

They were baptized into the Christian faith, being identified with Christ in His death and burial, which separated them from sin’s power; and having been identified with Him in His resurrection, they became new creations walking in newness of life by the same power that raised Him from the dead.

They were sanctified.

They were separated from common, earthly, or sinful uses, to be wholly employed in the service of the true God.93                                                         

They were justified.

They were accepted as righteous by having entered into a new relationship with God.

And now that they were born-again, they had a new standing before God and the opportunity by means of the Word and the ministry of the Holy Spirit to no longer continue in these actions. So, these Scriptures further confirm that a Christian should not be involved with fornication, adultery, and homosexuality.

The next sexual practice we will consider took place at what was called the temple of Aphrodite. I’m sure you could make an educated guess as to what I am talking about. This is found in the book of 1 Corinthians.

 

1 Corinthians 6:15

Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

Evidently, there were some believers at the church of Corinth who was engaging in sex with prostitutes. At one temple alone, called the temple of Aphrodite, there were said to be over 1,000 female prostitutes working there. The apostle Paul’s response to this was to remind them that their spiritual connection with Christ belongs not merely to the [soul] but also to the [body] so that we are flesh of His flesh.94 He then said to them, shall I take a member (a part of Christ in vital union with him95) and engage this same body with a harlot (prostitute) and not affect my spiritual condition? He emphatically concluded his remarks by saying, God forbid (let it not be so). This verse clearly tells us that prostitution is not a sexual avenue that a Christian should be participating in.

We have one more Scripture section to look at, which will address a sexual practice that was mentioned in the article on Roman Sexual Morality but not elaborated on. Do you have any idea as to what sexual practice this is? Please stay in 1 Corinthians.

 

1 Corinthians 6:9

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

There are some examples of this sexual practice in the Old Testament Scriptures. In the article on Roman Sexual Morality that we looked at in an earlier chapter, we found that this action was considered as being generally acceptable during Roman times, especially when committed on those who were of a lower social class. Do you remember what sexual practice this referred to? 

The sexual practice we are talking about is called rape. In today’s society, this word can mean sexual assault, forced stripping, or forced public nakedness. The online dictionary describes rape as unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body [parts], or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.96

While I couldn’t find a storied example of such in the New Testament, some scholars believe that the Greek words arsenokoitai (abusers of themselves with mankind) and malakoi (effeminate) in 1 Corinthians 6:9 are specifically speaking out against these predatory practices of sexual abuse where a dominant, high-status man (viewed as masculine by patriarchal society) would sexually abuse a young boy or slave (seen as “effeminate” because of their lesser power in their patriarchal society97). Based on the acceptability of this action at this time, it would seem plausible that these two words, besides implying the sexual practice of pedophilia, could also refer to the predatory sexual abuse known as rape.

Scripture certainly has helped us in learning about what sexual practices God condones and which ones He does not. And so, here are the summarized findings.

1. Christians that are married and/or those who remain celibate can be a part of God’s plan.

2. Marriage between a man and a woman is encouraged, especially if there is a desire to engage in sexual relations.

3. Fornication (having sex outside of marriage), lesbianism or homosexuality (sex with

someone of the same gender), incest (sex with someone of the immediate or extended family), adultery (sex with someone other than one’s husband or wife), prostitution (sex with someone who sells their body for pleasure), rape (forcible sexual assault), pedophilia (sex with a child), and polygamy (having more than one wife) are considered as actions that are not condoned by God.

After reading this summary, you might respond by saying, doesn’t God support a loving relationship between two people? If you are talking about Christians who are married, male and female, the answer is yes.

What unbelievers do with their bodies in any realm, who operate in their sin nature, is considered works of the flesh. Some works are considered good or moral, while others are considered immoral or sinful. This is determined by societal norms. Neither work has any redemptive qualities in God’s eyes. God’s desire for them is that they get saved and learn how to walk in their new nature.

Let me say this another way as pertaining to the perception that God supports a loving relationship between two people. Having sexual eros relationships between two people, who are not saved, you could say, is like any other eros relationship involving two people who are not saved. They will love each other with eros love, but not God’s agape love. So, with two unbelievers, or even believers who are operating in eros love is not the same as two believers operating in agape love. Operating in eros love is operating in the sin nature. Operating in agape love is walking in the new divine nature.

So, I believe this answers the comment made by a member of the Christian megachurch when he said, any relationship that I have with a man is part of God’s plan and that it would be full of love, equal to any other.98 What we have learned is that neither is this erost ype of love a part of God’s plan, and neither is it full of love equal to God’s agape love between two Christians.

When there is a lack of clear teaching from the pulpit on any biblical topic or issue, then there will be confusion as to what the Word of God says about it. This will result in human perception based on societal norms becoming the standard for the members of a church to adhere to.

There are many Christians, like me at one time, whose sin nature continued to rule their lives after salvation. Whatever inclinations, passions, or propensities they gravitated toward before they were saved, they were still gravitating toward after they were saved. With these thoughts in mind, here’s the million-dollar question.

    

How do Christians learn how to no longer be in subjection to the cravings and desires of their flesh (sin nature)?

As I was preparing to talk about this in the next chapter, something happened which changed my mind. It had to do with another comment that I heard while watching TV. It was by a different Christian male who apparently was running for the highest political office in the land. He mentioned that he was married to another male. But this was not the end of this proclamation. He added that he felt justified as a Christian to have made this decision before God for a particular reason.

In the next chapter, let’s take a look at what the reason was that he believed caused his decision to be sanctioned by God and see if Scripture supported his claims. After we take a look at this, we will attempt to answer the question posed beforehand. How does a Christian learn how to no longer be in subjection to the cravings and desires of his/her flesh?

    

Endnotes

79 Barnes’ Notes.         

80 Robertson’s New Testament.

81 Weust.

82 Jamieson, Faucet, and Brown.

83 The Bible Exposition Commentary/New Testament.

84 Bible Knowledge Commentary/New Testament.

85 Adam Clarke’s Commentary.

86 Adam Clarke’s Commentary.

87 Barnes’ Notes.                            

88 IVP Bible Background Commentary.

89 UBS Old Testament Handbook Series Pc Study Bible version 5, 2005. BIBLESOFT. WEB. 01 April 2019 ˂http://www.biblesoft.com>.

90 “Laws regarding incest,” .

91 UBS New Testament.

92 UBS New Testament.

93 Adam Clarke’s Commentary.  

94 Calvin's Commentaries.

95 Robertson’s New Testament.

96 Dictionary.com.

97 “JOSEPH - Male sexual abuse survivor,” ˂www.ashleyeaster.com/blog/male-sexual-abuse-survivor-in-the-bible>.

98 Sex Abuse & Gay Conversion Therapy.

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2ITJ1wj

Website: https://bit.ly/3mWKJ2r        

New Covenant Ministries - Ministerios NuevoPacto - Harbor Church, Block Island                                                                                                                                                                                                         

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My name is James Rondinone. I am a husband, father, and spiritual leader.

I grew up in Massachusetts and began my own spiritual journey early on in life.

I attended Bible college, having completed a two-year Christian Leadership Course of Study and graduated as valedictorian (Summa Cum Laude).

Studying and teaching the Word of God has been a passion of mine for over 20 years.

The Indoor Football League On US Sports: Quad City Steamwheelers at Massachusetts Pirates

 Bringing Week 15 to a close on Monday night, the Quad City Steamwheelers (6-6) face off against the Massachusetts Pirates (7-6) in a highly anticipated Eastern Conference matchup. Going into this game, the Pirates are in the third spot with Quad City closely behind in the fourth, as only the top four teams make it to the playoffs.

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5 Core Offensive Priniciples for a Winning Football Formula

• By Keith Grabowski

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When he was 26, Scotty Walden was the youngest head coach in college football.  Now at the ripe old age of 30, and the Head Coach of Austin Peay, he’s still one of the youngest D1 coaches in the country. 

We had the privilege of hosting Scotty Walden as a presenter at Lauren’s First and Goal. He discuss the evolution of his offensive principles, which have led them to three consecutive winning seasons and a conference championshiped them to three consecutive winning seasons and a conference championship. The energy and enthusiasm he has about the game is contagious!

The Five Core Offensive Principles

#1) Ball Security

The first and most important principle is ball security. It's crucial for players to understand that they must protect the football at all costs. Turning the ball over to the opposing team greatly increases their chances of winning, so ball security is paramount.

#2) Tempo

Playing at a fast pace is essential for a successful offense. The team trains to snap the ball every 12 seconds, ensuring that they can wear down the defense and maintain a high level of execution throughout the game. This requires a strong commitment to conditioning and practice, as well as a well-coordinated strength and conditioning program.

#3) Execution

The third principle is all about executing plays at an extremely high level. This means that the playbook must be comprehensive and adaptable, allowing for a wide range of plays to be called quickly and efficiently. The key is to make the game plan as simple as possible for the players while still being complex enough to challenge the opposing defense.

#4) Balance 

A balanced offense is one that can effectively run and pass the ball, regardless of the weather conditions or the specific opponent. This adaptability ensures that the offense can take advantage of any defensive weaknesses and keep the opposition guessing.

#5) Coaching with a Defensive Mindset

Finally, the team believes in coaching offense with a defensive mentality. This means that practices are intense and physical, with a focus on blocking, hard hits, and relentless effort. This approach instills a sense of toughness and determination in the players, preparing them for the challenges of game day.

Developing the RPO Football Game

Coach Walden has also heavily invested in developing their RPO game. Here’s a sneak peek at how they work Quick Side & Decide Side in RPOs and execution in a critical situation:

Coach Walden also talks about the execution of the RPO game and how to make sure your team is firing on game day in the video below.

There’s definitely some takeaways to help create  a championship-winning offensive system. Mastering the five core principles of ball security, tempo, execution, balance, and coaching with a defensive mindset can make a difference in any type of offense.

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The Rock Almighty. The Greater Good? And How Do I Fulfill My Spiritual Destiny?

 

How Do I Fulfill My Spiritual Destiny?

• Author James Rondinone

PART 11 TESTIMONY                                                                                                                                        

Testimonies About Maintaining Continual Victory Over Sexual Abuse and Sinful Sexual Desires

Thank God that our sinful inclinations and tendencies no more define us. In Christ, we are no longer who we used to be. By means of the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can think anew and experience the anointing which breaks the yoke.

Learning how to walk in the Spirit and evidencing Christ-likeness in our words and actions is a process, a daily reflection by us as to the new truths that have been revealed to us and appropriated by us as soon as we wake up in the morning and meditate upon throughout our day. It’s not deliverance from, but deliverance within. So, the admonition is for us to put on the new man, the new person we have become, and to set our affections (mind) on things above (heavenly realities and values) and not on things below (the former life and everything of an evil nature that pertained to it156). And if we do, we will evidence a testimony of maintaining continual victory over sinful sexual desires like our fellow believers have been able to do so, whose stories are about to be presented in the articles that follow.

           

JOYCE MEYER OVERCAME ABUSE BY HER FATHER

Joyce Meyer, one of America’s most prominent Christian speakers and authors, overcame sexual abuse by her father.

“My father did rape me, numerous times, at least 200 times,” she told Charisma Magazine.

Meyer, a down-to-earth public speaker with a high-flying prosperity gospel ministry, finally broke years of silence in 2012 by revealing her childhood trauma. She decided she needed to share her testimony to help others suffering similar hurts.

“I was sexually, mentally, [emotionally,] and verbally abused by my father as far back as I can remember until I left home at the age of 18,” she said. “He did many terrible things…some [of] which are too distasteful for me to talk about publicly. But I want to share my testimony because so many people have been hurt, and they need to realize that someone has made it through their struggles.”

Meyer grew up in St. Louis, [Missouri,] with a dad who “was born in the hills — way back in the hills. In his family, incest was just part of the culture,” she told Charisma. At age 9, she told her mother what [had] happened. But mom did nothing. When Meyer was 14, her mom caught her dad in the act. But mom was emotionally incapable of confronting the situation and left instead.

In response to her trauma, Meyer accepted Jesus in a local church at age 9. But her mind was in a state of confusion. Shortly after graduating from high school, she married a part-time car salesman, who cheated on her and persuaded her to embezzle from her employer. After she divorced him, she married her current husband, Dave Meyer, an engineering draftsman in 1967, according to Wikipedia.

Then one day in [1976,] she was praying intensely while driving to work and heard God call her name. She describes what she felt as “liquid love” flowing from God. The emotional experience was the start of a closer walk with God that would bring her into ministry.

With a no-nonsense folksy style that ingratiated her with her audiences, Meyer rose quickly through the ministerial ranks in ever-larger churches until she resigned to launch her own ministry in 1985. “Life in the Word” began with broadcasts on six radio stations from Chicago to Kansas City. In 1993, she and her husband launched a television ministry.

Meanwhile, her book-writing ministry also prospered. Publishing house Hachette Book paid Meyer more than $10 million for the rights to her backlist catalog of independently released books in 2002, according to Wikipedia. On the outside, things were going well. On the inside, Meyer had to deal with the emotional scars from her childhood.

“I was so profoundly ashamed because of this,” Meyer said. “I was ashamed of me, and I was ashamed of my father and what he did. I was also constantly afraid. There was no place I ever felt safe growing up. I don’t think we can even begin to imagine what kind of damage this does to a child.

“At [school,] I pretended I had a normal life, but I felt lonely all the time and different from everyone else. I never felt like I fit in, and I wasn’t allowed to participate in [after school] activities, go to sports events or [parties,] or date boys. Many [times,] I had to make up stories about why I couldn’t do anything with my classmates. For so [long,] I lived with pretense and lies.              

“What I learned about love was actually perversion,” she added. “My father told me what he did to me was special and because he loved me. He said everything he did was good, but it had to be our secret because no one else would [understand,] and it would cause problems in the family.”

Meyer eventually reached a place in her life when she knew she had to forgive her father.

“I’m happy to say that God gave me the grace completely, 100%, [to] forgive my father,” she said in [a] YouTube video. “It took some time, but I was able to do it.”

Then she had to share the horrifying story.

“As long as I kept this secret, I couldn’t get free from the pain of it,” she said.                                   

She explained her struggle with her dad and wants people to know that anyone that has been abused can recover if they will give their life completely to Jesus.                                                        

“God didn’t get me out of the situation when I was a child, but He did give me the strength to get through it,” Meyer said. “It’s true my father abused me and didn’t love and protect me the way he should have, and at times it seemed no one would ever help [me,] and it would never end.                   

”But God always had a plan for my life, and He has redeemed me. He has taken what Satan meant for harm and turned it into something good. He has taken away my shame and given me a double reward and recompense.”                                                                                                         

When her father was sick and dying on a hospital [bed,] he told her, “Joyce, I am sorry you feel I hurt you. But I still don’t understand what was so bad about what I did.” It wasn’t much as far as repentance went.                                                                                                                                  

God told her that she was to move him close to her house and take care of him. Meyer’s husband disagreed with the plan, but it soon was confirmed that God had spoken to her.                                      

As God supplied the grace, she showed her father love [every day]. Every need he had, she attempted to meet. She bought his food and clothing.

One day he broke down in tears. He called Joyce and Dave to his bedside and fully repented: “I am sorry for what I did to you. I have wanted to say this to you for a long time, but I didn’t have the guts,” he said. “Dave, I am sorry for what I did to you. I am sorry I hurt your wife. Please forgive me.”

Meyer knelt beside [him] and led her father in the sinner’s prayer. He then asked Meyer to baptize him. Meyer baptized her father on Dec. 2, [2001,] in front of hundreds of people at the Dream Center she founded in St. Louis’ inner city. From a “mean snake,” God had begun to transform him into a “sweet old man.”

“I know that I know that I know, that God has redeemed, and what Satan meant for bad God has turned to good,” she said.157

         

FROM GAY TO GOSPEL: THE FASCINATING STORY OF BECKET COOK

Ten years ago, Becket Cook was a gay man in Hollywood who had achieved great success as a set designer in the fashion industry. He worked with stars and supermodels, from Natalie Portman to Claudia Schiffer, traveling the world to design [photoshoots] for the likes of Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar. He attended award shows and parties at the homes of Paris Hilton and Prince. He spent summers swimming in Drew Barrymore’s pool. A decade later, Cook [had] moved on from that life—and he doesn’t miss it. 

What changed for Cook? He met Jesus. On a momentous day in September 2009, while drinking coffee with a friend at Intelligentsia in L.A.’s Silver Lake neighborhood, Cook started chatting with a group of young people sitting at a nearby table—physical Bibles opened in front of them (remember, this was 2009). They were from a church called Reality L.A. (where TGC Council member Jeremy Treat now serves as lead pastor), and they invited Cook to visit the church.

Cook took them up on the invitation and visited Reality L.A. the next Sunday, where he heard the gospel and gave his life to Jesus. He never looked back, trading his gay identity for a new identity in Christ. In the years since, Cook completed a degree at Talbot School of Theology and wrote a memoir of his conversion, A Change of Affection: A Gay Man’s Incredible Story of Redemption, which just released. 

I recently met up with Cook at Intelligentsia—the place where his encounter with coffee-drinking, Bible-studying Christians set his conversion in motion. Here is an edited transcript of our conversation.                 

Take me back to that day, in this very coffee shop, [ten] years ago. What was going on in your life that made the soil, so to speak, ready to receive the gospel seed?

It was a moment in Paris six months earlier. I was at a fashion party and just felt empty: I had done everything in Hollywood, met everyone, traveled everywhere. [Yet,] I was overwhelmed with emptiness at this party. It was one of the most intense “is that all there is?” moments in my life. I had already been wrestling with questions about the meaning of life, searching for it in all sorts of ways. But I knew God was never an [option] because I was gay. It was off the table. I wasn’t confused about what the Bible had to say about homosexuality. I knew it was clear. But I was still searching for meaning. 

[So,] when I came to this coffee shop six months later and saw that group of young people with their Bibles open, I started asking them questions. They explained the gospel, what they believed. I asked what their church believed about homosexuality, and they explained that they believed it [was] a sin. I appreciated their honesty and that they didn’t beat around the bush. But the reason I was able to accept their answer was because I had that moment in Paris. Five years [earlier,] I would have been like, [you] guys are insane. You’re in the dark ages. But [instead,] I was like, [maybe] I could be wrong. Maybe this actually is a sin. [So,] I was open to it in the moment. And then they invited me to church.                                                                                                                                             

When you showed up to church that first Sunday at Reality, you ended up becoming a Christian. What happened?

Tim Chaddick preached the sermon that day, and everything he was saying basically turned what I knew about religion upside down. I grew up in Catholic schools, and I honestly thought religion was just being a good person, doing good things. I don’t think the priests in my high school once explained what the gospel was. Not once. [So,] when Tim was preaching all these things that were the exact opposite of what I thought religion was, I was like, [whoa.] It all really resonated, and it prompted me to go forward at the end of the service to receive prayer. It was shocking and unexpected to me, a Road to Damascus moment. It was so powerful, so all-consuming. I was all-in.                                                                                                                                                    

 

What did discipleship look like for you after you got saved?

Tim and I would meet for coffee each week, [even] though I didn’t know why, he was discipling me. That was vital. There were so many others at the church who came around me and supported me, recommending books and sermons and praying for me. I would get random [‘I’m praying for you today!’] texts all the time. I joined a community group right away. I listened to all of Tim Keller’s sermons, as well as John Stott and Dick Lucas. It was a process of people discipling me at my church and God discipling me through these other voices.

During that [time,] right after I got saved, I had a three-month period of no work, which was unusual. [So,] I had all this time to spend with God, to pray and read the Bible. I couldn’t stop reading the Bible. Every time I’d listen to a sermon or read the [Bible,] I’d end up in tears: “Oh my gosh, this is true! I can’t believe I know God and know the meaning of life finally!”                                                                                                                                           

There are conversations today about whether one can be a “gay Christian.” Is there a way to reconcile following Jesus with having a gay identity?

They are irreconcilable. It’s strange to me to see these attempts. I had such a clean break from it, and it was entirely God’s grace upon me to see that it was necessary. Would you call yourself a greedy Christian? Would you call yourself a tax-collector Christian? It seems strange to identify yourself with sin. It’s a square circle. Defining yourself as a “gay Christian,” even if you are celibate and not active in a homosexual relationship, is wildly misleading. And it’s almost like you’re stewing in your old sin, hanging onto your old self in a weird way. It’s not helpful to have that moniker over you and to continually identify as such. Why would you identify with your old self that has been crucified with Christ? [So,] I flee from that term as far as I can. It’s not who I am at all. If people ask me how I identify, [I tell them I] don’t identify by my sexuality. I’m a follower of Christ who has a lot of struggles, including same-sex attraction.” …

The LGBT movement has gained so much ground by framing homosexuality as an immutable, personhood-level identity. What are your thoughts on the state of how Western culture sees “gay” today?

In the last 20 years or [so,] there has been such a huge push to make it sacred. It went from a sin to a sacrament. The book Making Gay Okay does a really good job showing how that happened. Media, movies, TV—it’s all been pushing [toward] this. When I was coming of age as a gay kid, it wasn’t like this. It was still taboo. There were gay-pride parades, but they weren’t at Macy’s. Every store in the world didn’t have a rainbow on it. But now it’s everywhere, it’s so dominant, and to say anything against the narrative is seen as crazy if not downright harmful. 

Everything is inside out and upside down. The idea of the rainbow, for example, is so odd to me now—using this biblical symbol as the icon of the LGBT movement. When I was gay, I felt shame. Instinctively I knew it was wrong. But though I felt shame, over the [years,] you harden your heart to it. I think the driving force behind these choices, like the rainbow flag and pride parades—the word pride, even—is to convince yourself that there’s nothing wrong with it, nothing to be ashamed of. You have to constantly tell yourself that and let the culture tell you that. Because there is shame attached to it, so hyper-emphasizing the “rightness” of it helps people embrace their “identity” more.

What is it like watching the “de-conversion” stories of Christians who grow up in the faith but then abandon it because of the LGBT issue? In the [book,] you compare it to Esau selling his birthright for a pot of stew.

I see this happen all the time, especially kids who grew up in Christian families and went to Christian colleges. You can see it coming from a mile away. It’s so common, and the culture is so powerful. [I always say look, if you’re going to be on social media or Netflix for an hour, you need to read the Bible for an hour because you’ve just been lied [to,] and now you need the truth.] So yeah, it’s very sad.

Your life is a vapor. You’re here for two seconds. What do you want your life to be at the [end] when you’re on your deathbed? Do you want it to [be that you] got to satisfy all those urges and got the things [you wanted?] Or do you want to be told, [well] done, good and faithful [servant?] You spent your life on mission for the kingdom of God”?

I often think about Paul, who was single and didn’t whine about it. He cared about planting churches and getting the gospel out. He was shipwrecked, beaten, jailed, but he didn’t care—he just wanted the gospel out.

To the people who give up, I first and foremost pray, particularly for those I know. It’s so sad to me because you’re literally giving up your birthright for a single meal. Do you understand what you are doing?

It seems for many Christians who move from holding traditional biblical views on sexuality to being LBGT- “affirming,” the thing that moves them over the edge is having someone close to them—a parent, a sibling, a close friend—come out. How should a Christian respond when people close to them come out?                                                                          

I’ve seen this happen to several of my friends, and I understand the motivation behind the phenomenon. But the Word of God doesn’t change based on our feelings. In terms of responding to those close to us who come out as gay or lesbian, it’s important to love them unconditionally without compromising your convictions. As Christians, we are in exile. And just as Shadrach and friends refused to bow down to the golden statue in Babylon (Daniel 3), even though the consequences were potentially dire, we have to resist the temptation to bow down to the culture we are in—no matter the cost. I’m not saying this is easy.

Some who come out will be super offended when you hold to your traditional biblical views. The issue is now so deeply tied to identity that it can feel like you are rejecting them. I certainly felt that way whenever I remembered that my family, even though they loved me, believed homosexual behavior [was] a sin. Though it wasn’t their intent, I felt alienated by them.

[So,] I think the key is to love your friend unconditionally no matter [what] and to pray for them. That’s what my sister-in-law did with me. She was an evangelical Christian and knew that I knew what her beliefs were on sexuality (she held the orthodox view). But I never felt an ounce of judgment from her over the years. She just loved me and prayed for me . . . for 20 long years. And it worked! The Word of God doesn’t change based on our feelings.                                                                  

… What does change look like for the gay person who becomes a Christian?

When we are regenerated, our affections change. Not just in the area of sexuality, but in everything else: our attitude toward money, success, relationships. In terms of so-called conversion therapy, I don’t think it’s something we should force. I still struggle with same-sex attraction (even though it has greatly diminished and no longer dominates my thought life like it did before God saved me). But he can do anything. He created the universe, so he can reorient our attractions.

Sometimes I pray that God would heal the sexual brokenness in me, especially given that I was molested when I was a child by a friend’s father (which I think had a larger effect on my sexual development than I used to admit). Who [knows?] God may change my desires one day. We’ll see. But for now, I’m happy to just be single and celibate for the rest of my life. I’m happy to deny myself and take up my cross and follow Jesus.       

                                                                                                                                       

What have been the biggest costs to you in choosing to follow Jesus? What’s been the biggest gain?

God had a lot of grace on me the day he saved me. Giving up the gay life wasn’t that difficult; it was actually quite easy. I had just met [Jesus,] and the relationship with him was so overwhelming and wonderful and all-consuming. Oddly enough, I was relieved I didn’t have to date anymore.

When you’re in that life, you’re constantly pressured to date. My friends were always trying to set me up. If you’re not in a relationship, people think something’s wrong with you. [So,] I was really relieved to not do that anymore. Like I say in the book, all my ex-boyfriends cheated on me, which is common; it’s like de rigueur for this world. But in my relationship with [Christ,] I felt so safe. I didn’t have to perform.

It was all quid pro quo with my ex-boyfriends. They were all artists. One was in a band that was super successful. One was a major writer in New York. It was always this thing where, if you’re not achieving enough or at this certain level, then you might be out. You also had to be in shape all the time! You couldn’t be out of shape for two seconds; [otherwise,] you were kicked out of the [club] or had to move to Palm Springs …

It was such a relief to be in this relationship with Christ. It didn’t feel [costly] because I was so full of joy. But it did cost me some friends, some really deep, lifelong relationships. A lot of my friends were semi-supportive, but some of my closest friends were not. That was painful, but at the [time,] I was so euphoric I didn’t care.

Once the book came out, some of the friendships that were lingering and semi-alive vanished for good. I was cut off from several people, some of the closest friends of my life. The gain is like Paul said: “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil 3:8). Malcolm Muggeridge has that famous quote about how all the fame and money and success of the world is nothing, less than nothing, compared to knowing Christ. The gain is this relationship with God through Christ. Eternal life. It’s this impenetrable joy because of not only knowing [Christ] but knowing the meaning of life—where I came from, what I’m doing, where I’m going. It gives me such peace.158

THRIVING AFTER INFIDELITY: A STORY OF TWO AFFAIRS

When I was a young girl attending a private Christian school, I knew that there were two reasons for getting a divorce, and no more. 

Unfaithfulness

Abuse of spouse or children

It was presented to me as a set of laws, cut and dry, black and white. I never really thought about it any further than I was told. 

I grew up and got married (at the ripe age of 20) and learned immediately that marriage is one very hard fight. You’re fighting for something you both said you wanted against every ounce of selfishness in each of you combined. For Brian and I, it was very rough and took a long time. We went through loads of hurt and even some betrayal (to a smaller degree than cheating), which I will eventually share, but I finally got it. Marriage is tough, and it’s not for the faint of heart. We were willing to stick it out and bury our feet in the dirt, hand-in-hand, but it didn’t get any easier until we both matured and let God do some serious work on us. 

After seeing how difficult marriage can be, I started thinking about the two laws of marriage I had been taught in school. No wonder it was ‘okay’ to get a divorce after someone cheats. This thing is hard enough as it is! Who could take that?

Someone who embodies all the humility and grace as Christ Himself did when He walked the soil of [the] earth. Someone who is willing to say no to the hatred wanting to collect in their heart and say yes to the hard road of forgiveness. Someone who knows there’s more to life than just being happy, and there’s more to [commitment,] too. 

Armelina and Ben Stevens were married when they were eighteen and nineteen years old, in Spring of 2007. They were Christians, but didn’t have relationships with Jesus. Their communication only existed to bring one another down, they argued constantly, their lives were all about themselves and never each other. 

“We had no idea what it took to have a good marriage, nor did we care. We each did what we [wanted,]” Armelina tells me. 

“After a few years and three kids, we both ended up having affairs. At that [point,] we were both so broken.”

Armelina and Ben Stevens were married when they were eighteen and nineteen years [old] in Spring of 2007. They were [Christians] but didn’t have relationships with Jesus. Their communication only existed to bring one another [down. They] argued constantly, their lives were all about themselves and never each other. 

Some incredible things have happened in the Stevens family since that dark time, and I sat down to interview Armelina and get her story. It’s one of those ones that should be shared with the [world] because it’s a bright white beam of light and hope in a world where ending a marriage means little more than the inconvenience of paperwork. 

Me: [So,] Ben came to you about his affair, knowing about yours, and you sort of had it out that night?

Armelina Stevens: Yes. It was a hard talk to [have,] and I ended up leaving, going outside, and not wanting to talk about it or deal with it for about a week. I was furious with him. 

Me: You said divorce was never an option, even after you and your husband came clean about your affairs. What kept you from feeling like your marriage was too broken to be worth saving?

AS: We have always been Christians, but we didn’t have a relationship with the Lord. I spent the week after smoking cigarettes outside, processing, thinking of what to do. My husband said he was willing to bring us back to church, get back to God. I saw that God was changing him right before my eyes. I knew that had to mean something good, something different. I just couldn’t say ‘see ya later’ after that. I could see what God was doing and what we were able to become. 

Me: What was the state of your feelings toward your husband during your affair? During the reconciliation?

AS: I didn’t show much of my negative feelings at first because of the kids. There was this one day where I felt God on me, and my feelings were completely overridden by His presence. I had peace. 

After everything happened, I kissed him for the first time in a parking lot, a week after we confessed to each other. That was the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had. It felt like we were remarried. You could feel the fresh start.

Me: You said your kids were hurting because they saw you were arguing and unhappy together, and you both saw that in them. Did you initially stay together just for them, and [that’s what] led into loving each other again? 

AS: It really wasn’t about the kids. It was just a desire to be a happily married couple, to love each other through even the toughest times till death do us part. We really wanted that deep down. Our pastor told [us] it’s God first, then each other, then your kids. I heard that and thought, [yes, I want that kind of relationship.] Now our kids are so much happier that we are putting each other first.

Me: You mentioned it took about a week after his confession for your worlds to break down and for you to come together willing to work on things. Why was it a week? What were you [feeling,] and what was going on during that time?

AS: I just felt so guilty for what I had done. I just wanted to cry and get everything out. A part of me wanted to believe that his affair was [worse,] and I was so angry; I wrestled with that during that week. [Eventually,] I realized sin is [sin;] there are no levels. When you ask [forgiveness,] God casts it away from you, and that’s it. I knew if things were going to get better, I had to act that out in my marriage. 

Me: What would you say to the wife who has been unfaithful and doesn’t know what to do now?

AS:  Get counseling. Pull your Bible out. Talk to a trustworthy, godly friend who will encourage you in your marriage. I didn’t have that. I only had friends who told me to leave my husband. That was so hard, and I had to make friends through a new Bible study. Basically, buckle down and pray. It’s so [cliché,] but it’s honestly the best thing you can do. That’s where God speaks to us. 

Me: What would you say to the wife who has been betrayed in her [marriage] and chosen to forgive and move on, but continues to bring up the past to her husband?

AS: [Oh,] I struggled with that so bad for a couple of years after we reconciled. I would just get so angry and irritated, Satan kept reminding me of what Ben had [done,] and I would throw it in his face. The fact is, who was I to say something to him?! I had done the same thing. [So,] to that [wife,] I would say, keep your mouth shut. Open it only to encourage and pray for your heart and for him. You chose to [forgive,] so keep on choosing it. 

Me: Were there any specific verses or quotes that really resonated with you during the moving on process?

AS: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13. That’s the passage we were given to read together. Love endures all [things;] it never fails. That’s God. How amazing is it that we serve a God who forgives and forgets? Not once does God bring it up again. That’s a model for us in our marriages. It’s such an overused [passage,] but when I took it for that horrible situation, it came alive and took on a new meaning. 

Me: I’m gonna get awkward and ask the question I think a lot of women need to hear about from someone who has been through it. Was coming together again sexually a bumpy road for the two of you? How soon after everything did that happen for you guys?

AS: It was after we went to counseling. My husband was willing to wait until I was [ready,] and he told me that. I felt God moving us into starting the healing process, and being intimate with one another was what that looked like for us. I didn’t need a waiting process.  

Me: Do you have any advice for other wives in similar circumstances when it comes to being intimate with their husbands again?

AS: Do it only when you’re ready. When you feel completely ready to give yourself back to your husband physically and not think about anyone else, that’s the time. Before our [affairs,] we were both bored and just not really trying. After all this happened, our intimacy is amazing. I’m so glad you’re asking me about this because it’s a part of the process I think is surprising that I really wanted to share to encourage someone who needs to hear this. I wasn’t enjoying it before at all, but now sex is so much more pleasurable and romantic and sweet. We are so much more connected. I am more attracted to [him,] and I can’t wait for him to get home every night. Every time we are [together,] it gets better. I am so thankful for the changes that difficult time brought to our sex life. God woke us up. He woke us up in every area. We weren’t having intimacy before.

Me: Do you think that’s because you weren’t giving yourselves over to each other emotionally that your physical intimacy wasn’t satisfying?

AS: Yes, absolutely.

Ben and Armelina are the pictures of what God can do if you’ll allow him into your relationships and into the brokenness that comes from being human. I am so honored they let me share their story and so thankful to Armelina for her raw honesty. We shouldn’t feel shameful for our stories of sin and restoration. These are the stories that will change the world.159

FREE FROM PEDOPHILIA

Can I be free from Pedophilia? I don’t think the sexual feelings will ever go away [on] this side of heaven. It is possible that God could do a miracle and rewire a person’s brain, and I believe that might happen for some people – God treats us all as individuals. But that’s not been the case for me, and the sexual feelings are still there. However, I am free from pedophilia in the sense that it doesn’t rule my life.

I used to be held captive by [it] daily. Unwanted thoughts would tumble into my mind, which would lead to fantasies. The step between fantasies and taking action can be a small one. Pornography is one of the first steps toward harming a child. Feeling guilty and ashamed would occupy the rest of my day.

The tension can be overwhelming at times. A friend described it as a faucet that’s running, but there’s no drain. It threatens to overflow and make a horrible mess. Where can we find help?

Jesus said that he would bring freedom to the prisoners chained in darkness. I so desperately needed his [help] because I couldn’t escape on my own. In the Bible, God [led] his people out of slavery in Egypt. He said he [wanted] to do that for all his children. I know I am a slave to pedophilia. It troubled my past, bullies me now, and threatens my future. How can God lead me to freedom? How will Jesus break these chains?

The answer: A new life.

Jesus starts a new life inside you that’s different from the old life. That may sound weird, but it makes perfect sense. If I ask Jesus to be part of my life, he brings something new. It begins small, but when I choose to share that new life with him, it gets stronger. Little by little, it overcomes the old.

The new life is a spiritual life. That’s where the expression “born again” comes from. It’s like being born a second time. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it, but it’s definitely different. It’s like seeing new colors – how would you explain it? All you can do is say it’s “like” this or that…

It’s like hope that you can stand on. It’s [believing,] but you can know. It’s like being happy, except it’s a joy that goes beyond any reason you can find. It’s like being loved, and it’s a love that makes you greater. It gives you purpose like a fire burning inside. It’s being [clean] because you’re continually washed from the inside out. It is the best experience in all the world to be loved by God and to let him give you his new life!

The choice belongs to you and me every step of the way. God will never force himself on a person. He is very humble. I know that I could choose to walk away at any point. I could tell [him no]. But, where would I go? With [him,] I found love and life.

Each time I choose to follow him, that new life gets stronger. I do not look at inappropriate material. I turn my [head] rather than stare. I do not allow my mind to fantasize. I have strict boundaries with children. Feelings of attraction may come, but they do not occupy my thoughts or rule my daily life. God has led me down a path of freedom from pedophilia.

I recognize that these are behavior choices, and someone will say that I’m curing myself without any help from God. I don’t believe that’s [true] because I know from personal experience that my own willpower was never enough to sidestep sexual attraction. If God is real (and I believe he is), a relationship with him must have profound effects. [We, humans,] are influenced by the company we keep, and I recommend anyone spend [to] time in the company of Jesus. It will change you.

When God looks at you, he sees you as a new creation in Christ. You have a new identity that was created when Jesus rose from the grave. You are in the process of living that out – “growing in every way more and more like Christ” (Eph 4:15). Yes, those feelings of attraction remain; pedophilia is a physical condition that affects our neurons. [But] you are now a child of God, and you are walking step by step forward with him.

Pedophilia gave me shame, isolation, and the risk of harming others. God has given me love, healthy relationships, and the freedom to live again. I know that pedophilia will present a challenge until I go to [heaven;] therefore, I guard myself. But, I’m not in chains anymore. Jesus set me free.

(Jesus) found the place where it is written: The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.  And He closed the book, gave it back to the attendant and sat down; and the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on Him. And He began to say to them, ‘Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.’ ~Luke 4:16-21

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~Matthew 28:29-30160

I WAS A PROSTITUTE, BUT JESUS TOLD ME I BELONG TO HIM FOREVER

In the autumn, Jaleh, a quiet, rather sullen woman, arrived at an Elam conference. Nobody knew that when she was [fourteen,] she had been raped as a punishment for joining a school protest; that when she told the authorities they had whipped her for immorality; that her father had then repeatedly abused her; as did other relatives. Nobody knew shame had driven Jaleh to the streets to work as a prostitute, nor of all the babies aborted from her womb. All that was known was that she had recently become a Christian through a house church and had a husband who was scornful [toward] her new faith. At the end of the conference, apart from one leader, this woman’s past was still private. But what everyone knew, just from her face, was that she had had an encounter with Jesus Christ. Here Jaleh tells her story:

A few months after I became a [Christian,] I went to a conference just for women. Their stories encouraged me, but I started to worry about why He never spoke to [me] or came into my dreams. I decided they were better than me. I was not worthy enough for Him to get near to me. Until [now,] my past was a complete secret, but I decided to share [it] with one of the ladies leading the conference. I told her everything and then asked for a glimpse of Jesus in my dream. The lady did not promise a [dream] but kept on reassuring me of God’s love for me. For the next few [nights,] I slept, expecting to see Jesus. He did not come. I thought that it was because of my past. I was not good enough. A painful darkness grew inside me, and [even during this] conference, I thought of running away and going back to prostitution.

[Again,] I went to the leader and asked for prayer to dream about Jesus. She was happy to [pray] but was firm about the dream. “You cannot box God in. It is up to Him how He reveals Himself to you.” We prayed and [prayed,] and I got bored. I really wanted her to finish so I could go to bed and maybe dream of Jesus. But as we prayed, I softened. I began to feel God’s presence and His presence was thicker and [thicker] until I could not stand up [anymore]. I was frightened with a Holy fear. I kept [screaming: ‘I am frightened! Do something! He is awesome…help me. I am frightened!’] But I could not come out of His presence. The lady told me not to be frightened and to enjoy His presence. Oh, I was so full of praise! His presence was wonderful. I wanted to stay there [forever] and praise Him. I could not find words for the adoration I felt. A jumble of songs came out! It was as if my whole being was rejoicing and dancing before Him. I could not see His [face,] but He was there looking at me.                   

He said, “Were you about to give up? Did you know that I am your friend? I love you! I love you! I have always loved you. You are mine!” His hands were so strong. He held my [hands,] and it was as if we were dancing together. I felt that my body was light and lifted to Him. I was free from any burden of guilt and shame; I was light as a feather. I was so full of joy that I remember I started laughing uncontrollably. I felt that Jesus was laughing with me. I was swirling and laughing and praising. I felt that the sky was opening and that a shiny light came down surrounding me. When I went home after the conference, my husband could not believe the changes in me. I told him about my encounter with Jesus. He asked me to pray for him. He started coming to church with [me,] and now he has become a Christian. I was a [prostitute,] but as He told me in my vision, I am His; I belong to Him [forever,] and nothing can take this away from me.                                                                                                              

Modern Day Magdalene

Jaleh’s story doesn’t stop with her salvation. Like Mary Magdalene in the Bible, her [life] and her family’s life has been truly transformed by the grace and love of Jesus Christ. She, [along] with her husband (who is now clean of drugs), are now committed members of a house church where they are growing as Christians. Life for them is [hard.] Jaleh’s husband works as a market trader in a notorious part of town where drug dealers and prostitutes congregate. This presents much opportunity to evangelize but also temptations from the past are never far away. They feel called to life in full-time [ministry, and] so are praying that if it is God’s will that they will have an opportunity to study.161

After introducing these articles, one of the thoughts that came [to mind] was that maybe I shouldn’t have introduced as many. And then I thought, why, as a reader should we be in a hurry. This book is all about helping others not only in their dysfunctional sexual relationships but also in every aspect of their lives. Hopefully, one or more of these stories will have impacted someone who is reading this book and provide them with the insight needed to either make a decision for God to come into their life and make them a new person or if God has already done so to apply some of the insights that will help them learn how to become a daily overcomer in whatever area of sexual inclinations that have had a hold over them.

As many have said in these articles that in order to change within, you need someone who can provide the changes needed. The initial change that is needed is to receive a new nature. Only God can give you this. Would you like to receive this new nature right now? If you would, then say these words inwardly or out loud.

God the Father, I acknowledge that I have sinned in many areas, such as slandering others; having sexual relations outside of marriage; being jealous; having participated in alcohol or drug abuse; having sex with others of the same gender; committing adultery; taking money from others in a deceitful manner; committed rape; engaged in pedophilia; etc. I don’t want to continue in these mental, verbal, and overt sins. I need a new nature.

I believe in your Son Jesus Christ as one of the members of the Trinity, who as God pre-existed time; came to the earth and took on the form of a man, being born of a virgin (no sin nature); lived a sinless life; listened to and obeyed the directives of his Father; went to the cross and paid for the penalty of and forgave the sins of the whole world; rose from the dead after three days, never to die again, walked the earth in His resurrection body for 40 days witnessing to over 500 people, and ascended into heaven to be seated at the right hand of God the Father.

And according to your promise, send the Holy Spirit to come and indwell my body thus imparting to me a new nature. Thank you, I am now a new spiritual creature.

Now, begin to assist me in helping me to overcome whatever areas are in my life that have brought about misery so that I can learn how to be set free from them. Again, thank you.

I have one last section to leave you with. Contained are my closing thoughts. I’ll see you there.

 

FULFILLING MY SPIRITUAL DESTINY

I hope you enjoyed this study. I can only say I had no idea of writing on the topic of TESTIMONY. Certain events seemed to take place, which drew me to this subject, such as reporting about the sexual abuse of young boys in a mainstream church on TV and an article about a different mainstream church that my wife found online whose founder confessed to having engaged in such. And so, I decided to read this article in which some of the members of this church had expressed their sexual preferences for members of the same sex and felt that they were unjustly treated by fellow believers and church leaders.

So, after hearing their comments, I decided to see if what they said their concerns were, was supported by Scripture. This was done not to condemn them but to provide scriptural clarity, whether in agreement with their comments or not. All of us, Christians, have perceptions about this or that to which only the Word of God can provide the answers. Once we know what the Word has to say, then it’s up to us to obey its instructions or not.

One who can testify that walking by faith is not easy is me. After I got saved and began to hear sound doctrinal teaching, I soon realized how most of my thoughts, words, and actions were not aligned with how God would have me to think, speak, and act. Some beautiful descriptions of what the words sound doctrine mean are found in the book of 2 Timothy.         

2 Timothy 4:3

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;    

The words sound doctrine refers to sound (or healthful) doctrine, with reference to the effect produced because it actually instructs to godliness.162 Another definition for sound doctrine is that it is doctrine contributing to the health of the soul.163 As I continued to hear about how God thought about me, I decided to appropriate these truths for myself, and subsequently, the realization of God’s perspective slowly became the reality of how I thought about myself, others, and the circumstances of life. There is a beautiful verse that exemplifies this.

Galatians 6:8

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

He that chooses to sow (concentrate on) the natural desires of his flesh will reap corruption (moral and spiritual decay). But he that chooses to sow (concentrate on) the desires of the Spirit, i.e., the desire of promoting his own spiritual growth164 and of concentrating on the fruit of the Spirit165 will reap life everlasting. What does it mean to reap life everlasting? It means we reap the blessings of the eternal life which God has given him.166 And just what are these blessings of eternal life that God has given us? Some of these blessings are found in the book of 1 John.

1 John 5:11

And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

The words eternal life refers to the zoe or abundant life that God has given us. The zoe life pertains to all those superadded things which are needful to make that life eminently blessed and happy.167 Some of these superadded things are the indwelling Holy Spirit and His fruit (influences; graces; elements of character), which when developed causes us to have rest [(refreshment and rejuvenation) for our souls; to experience times of refreshing (divine peace regulating, ruling, and harmonizing the heart) and joy (inner happiness without any kind of mental agony or fear); and to operate in righteousness (correctness in thinking, feeling and acting; upright character and disposition; integrity)].

Is this the kind of life you want to operate in?

If you do, then choose to sow to the Word of God and the Spirit, and you will see the sexual inclinations, passions, and desires of your flesh decrease and all that God has for you to operate in increase so that your life evidences these inner changes to both believers and unbelievers, who will be drawn to want to find out how your life has been so dramatically transformed.

God Bless You!

If you would like to communicate with me, then please respond via my email address:  rondolord@hotmail.com. My website is www.makingtheonerightchoice.com . I also provide weekly teachings on various Biblical topics by following this link: http://bit.ly/1N9SHdX.           

            

Endnotes

156Weust.

157 Kayla Armstrong, “Joyce Meyer overcame abuse by her father,” 2017. GODREPORTS. 15 January, 2020

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158 Becket Cook and Brett McCracken, “From Gay to Gospel: The Fascinating Story of Becket Cook,” 2019. TGC. 17 January 2020

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159 Allie Casazza, “Thriving After Infidelity: A Story of Two Affairs,”2016.

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160 “Free from Pedophilia,” 14 January 2020

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161 “I was a prostitute, but Jesus told me I belong to Him forever,” Elam. 15 January 2020 .

162 Calvin's Commentaries.

163 Barnes’ Notes.

164 Bible Knowledge Commentary/Old Testament, 2000. 20 April 2019

http://www.biblesoft.com

165 UBS New Testament.

166 Weust.

167 Barnes’ Notes.

 

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My name is James Rondinone. I am a husband, father, and spiritual leader.

I grew up in Massachusetts and began my own spiritual journey early on in life.

I attended Bible college, having completed a two-year Christian Leadership Course of Study and graduated as valedictorian (Summa Cum Laude).

Studying and teaching the Word of God has been a passion of mine for over 20 years.