In this video (below), cancer researcher Ty Bollinger speaks with Dr. Russell Blaylock, M.D. about aspartame and asks ‘is aspartame carcinogenic’.
(To watch Episode 1&2 of "A Global Quest" docu-series for FREE, click here: http://bit.ly/a-global-quest-free-yt)
Aspartame is found in many foods and drinks that people eat and drink on a daily basis. Aspartame is found in foods like sugar-free ice cream, iced tea, sodas, jams and jellies, and many more. There are artificial sweeteners health risks too. Sweeteners like Sweet and Low and Equal also contain aspartame.
So is aspartame safe? There have been numerous studies that have found that not only is aspartame not safe, there is a strong connection between aspartame and cancer.
Aspartame side effects include seizures, headaches, depression, weight gain, and even cancer. The question of “is aspartame bad for you” can be answered with a strong yes.
To learn more about aspartame dangers watch this interesting interview with Dr. Russell Blaylock, M.D. and you can see the full interview in The Truth About Cancer: A Global Quest docuseries.
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Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Why This Police Officer Skateboards With Teens While On Patrol and Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do? Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting
Officer Craig Hanaumi of the Bellevue Police Department just outside
Seattle says when dealing with the community, sometimes it's easier to
say nothing at all. His actions on the job, which include skateboarding,
playing trombone and playing sports, speak for themselves. His
skateboarding skills have grabbed nationwide attention, but Hanaumi
hopes eventually, they'll do more than that. InsideEdition.com's Keleigh
Nealon (https://twitter.com/KeleighNealon) has more. [Watch The Video Below]
Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do? Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting
"My fourteen year old daughter was
arrested for shoplifting make-up this week," said Marie, a working
mother of two girls. "Is this just normal teen behavior, or is it
something more serious? She’s grounded for a month and I’ve taken away
her iPod and computer privileges, but to tell the truth, I’m still in
shock. I’m furious and I don’t even know how to talk to her about what
she did."
Is Shoplifting the Same as Stealing?
Many parents have asked me over the years, "Is shoplifting a candy bar or cosmetics or clothes the same as stealing?" The truth is, stealing is stealing. It’s criminal, antisocial and worst of all, it corrodes a child’s development, character and integrity through the use of justifications and excuses. However, shoplifting candy bars from a store and stealing with aggression are two very different acts.
Stealing is wrong, and the best way to understand it is to examine your child’s thinking. Kids who steal often feel entitled to what they’re stealing, even though they or their parents can’t afford it.
There is a fierce sense of competitiveness amongst teens and pre-teens these days regarding having the cool stuff, wearing the hip clothes, and sporting hot make-up or accessories. Many kids will resort to stealing as a response to this phenomenon. Sometimes kids even steal for the sense of excitement it gives them, or do it under peer pressure.
A big part of the problem is that our society’s message is completely absent of a strongly objective morality. In most movies and songs today, the bad guys do good things and the good guys do bad things, and everybody looks the same. So kids justify what they’re doing. It’s not surprising when kids develop these ambivalent feelings about integrity, character and the difference between right and wrong.
The "Five Finger Discount"—What’s Behind a Child’s Thinking When He Shoplifts?
A child’s thinking behind this type of behavior is that "No one will get hurt and the store has a lot of money." They rationalize that they need to have this stuff in order to be accepted. They might say, "My parents won’t allow me to buy clothing or makeup like this, so I have to steal it."
But remember this: It’s our job as parents, teachers and therapists to strongly defend the concept that stealing is wrong. Tell your children this: "Stealing is wrong for two reasons: It’s illegal and puts you at risk of being arrested and prosecuted. It’s also hurtful because when you take something that doesn’t belong to you, somewhere, someone down the line is being hurt."
Make it real to
your child by explaining that if they shoplift cosmetics or video
games, the company adjusts its price upwards to insulate itself, and all
the rest of us pay a little more for it because of it.
If your child is caught stealing, in all cases, there needs to be meaningful consequences for the behavior. To you as a parent, the most important aspect of your child's decision to steal is the way of thinking that preceded the stealing. She should pay whatever the consequences are for stealing, and also write an essay on how she justified it.
Ask her, "What were you thinking before you stole this?" Remember this: It is in the examination of the justifications and excuses where the true learning will take place.
Certainly consequences like making her take the stolen item back to the store, apologizing and making financial amends are all very good parts of the equation. That kind of accountability can be very productive in deterring future stealing, if accompanied by an examination of the faulty thinking which drove them to do it.
You also might give them the consequence of, "You can’t go to the mall for two weeks. Two weeks of no stealing." If parents ask me, "How do I know?" I say "Don’t worry about it. They need to get another chance. You’re not there to be a cop." Always give them the chance to earn your trust back.
Stealing with Aggression: A Whole Different Mindset
"Aggression" means a "threat of harm or violence or the use of harm or violence." Some kids have gotten to a level of stealing where they are willing to physically assault someone else to take what they want. When dealing with stealing with aggression, the focus has to be on very strong consequences to deter future behavior, as well as a very focused examination of the thoughts, not the feelings, the thoughts which underlie this type of behavior.
When people steal with aggression, they're clearly saying, "I want that bad enough that I’ll hurt you if you don’t give it to me," which is very different than a shoplifter who says, "This won’t hurt the company, they have a lot of money." It’s a very different mindset and has to be addressed with vigor.
Let me be clear: Stealing with aggression is hardcore antisocial behavior. When you deal with individuals who exhibit criminal behavior, you’ll often find that one-on-one, they can be very charming, pleasant, and intelligent. Many criminals have advanced social manipulative skills. The difference between a criminal and a non-criminal is that the criminal is willing to use violence and aggression to get what he wants, while the non-criminal has very strong boundaries in those areas.
So when children are willing to use violence and aggression to get their way, it can be a key indicator that they are quite far down the wrong path. Of course there are always isolated incidents where kids will threaten other kids to get their way. Adolescent bravado can sometimes lead to threats. The astute adult has to ferret out which is which. But make no mistake, if your child is using threats of violence and aggression to steal, he has to be dealt with very sternly.
Again, it is very difficult to counteract the media forces in our society which constantly advocate aggression and violence as legitimate means to solve problems. Our media promotes the idea that if you want or need something bad enough and you have a good excuse-making system in place, you can justify anything. And you can use aggression and violence to achieve your end.
So here’s the message kids are getting: "If you can justify it, then it’s OK to do it." And we all know that kids can justify anything. So society has to react very strongly to aggression and threats involving stealing or anything else. I mean, look around you. Look at all the violence and aggression, senseless killing. Now think about this: in the minds of the kids who are committing that violence they believe it’s the OK thing to do.
If you look beneath the violence, to the thinking patterns, it’s very scary. That’s why you see situations like Columbine and Virginia Tech, where kids commit horrible violence on other kids and justify it because they perceive themselves as victims. Stealing is wrong and hurtful. But stealing with aggression and violence is much more problematic and needs to be dealt with aggressively.
If Your Child is Stealing within the Family, Everyone is Paying the Price
It’s common to hear that kids steal from their family members. Younger kids after all don’t have the level of moral development that leads to them understanding that this type of stealing is wrong and hurtful. This has to be taught with patience and firmness.
Stealing within the family should have the same consequences as stealing from a store, whether it’s from a sibling or a parent. Labeling, yelling and name-calling does not change the behavior. Discussions about the rights of others and respect for other’s property, followed by a consequence the child must carry out, are the preferred ways of dealing with theft in the family.
For young children, a consequence might be that they go to their room with the door open for 15 minutes, at the end of which time you come in and talk with them about stealing. Focus on the child realizing he was wrong, instead of just saying he is sorry. As kids get older, other consequences come into play, like paying rent for the stolen property, paying back the stolen money, and loss of social privileges.
Tell them you’re taking away their privileges because you’re not sure they can be trusted outside of the house. Don’t forget that if someone is unsafe or untrustworthy in the house, there should be real concern about what kind of trouble they might get into outside of the house where there is even less structure.
Volume and frequency of the stealing are also important to address. If a pre-adolescent or adolescent steals a large amount of money, which is measured compared to what the family has, the police should be called and you should be starting the legal process. This is designed to hold that child legally responsible, not only family-responsible.
The assumption here is that you've tried all you can within the family and it’s not working, and that now the police have to get involved. Stealing is a crime. These acts should be looked at as criminal acts more than as mental health problems. While mental health issues may be involved, adults who have mental health problems are punished for stealing just like adults without mental health problems.
Prisons and correctional institutions are full of people with mental health problems who also stole. They're not in jail for mental health problems, they’re in jail for stealing.
If there’s a high frequency of theft, or stealing for no apparent reason or the hoarding of food, that can indicate deeper psychological forces at play. These kids need to be assessed to see if there’s a therapeutic response to their behavior. But make no bones about it, they also need to be held accountable in the home as well as outside of the home for their antisocial behavior.
Although stealing may be a symptom of a larger problem, it is still stealing. The lesson about not stealing has to be reinforced and the child has to be held accountable. We can’t make excuses about antisocial and harmful behavior even when it occurs in the home.
Remember, you’re trying to produce a person who can function safely and productively in adult society. Excusing stealing will not produce that person. Sometimes parents minimize this behavior and it comes back to hurt them later on.
When Your Trust is Betrayed: How to let Your Child Earn it Back
The sense of betrayal that parents feel after their child has stolen from them is very real and should be addressed openly. If it’s a younger child, certainly the emotion should be screened out of it, and your child should be taught about trust. The way you’d explain trust to a younger child is by saying, "Stealing is hurtful and if somebody trusts you, it’s important not to hurt them."
Explain that trust is really a word we use for depending upon other people to do certain things or to not do certain things. The stronger that our belief is that they won’t hurt us, the deeper the sense of violation is. As kids get older and become teens, I think that their loyalties and allegiances are torn between the values of their peer group and the values of their family. Very often there’s a contradiction between the two.
This contradiction needs to be tolerated by parents to a certain degree because the teenager’s developmental role is to become an individual. And one of the ways that teens do that is by pushing their parents away and by rebelling against family norms and values. A certain amount of rebelliousness should be tolerated.
Nonetheless, a teenager stealing from parents is not an act of rebelliousness. It’s a violation of trust and it’s the commission of a petty crime in an arena where the teen doesn’t feel there will be severe consequences.
If there are several acts of stealing, they should be dealt with sternly in the family, using the behavioral concepts that I mentioned earlier. If there is major stealing of money and other valuables, the parents should consider involving the police and pressing charges. Although this seems harsh, the principles behind it are easy to understand.
If a teen is stealing from you because he perceives you as being weak and if family consequences aren’t helping with that, the family needs to seek outside help in order to strengthen itself. Secondly, and this is very important, if kids get away with stealing valuables from home, they’re going to develop a value system which allows for stealing any time the person can justify it.
When I have gone to youth detention centers to talk to the teens I was working with about the crimes that got them there, they invariably had a justification for it. That type of justification, or what we call an "alibi system," is developed and reinforced at home. In short, teens develop a way of thinking to justify their teenage behavior. They develop an alibi for everything.
Once that alibi system becomes criminalized, you’ll see an increase in the amount of antisocial behavior such as stealing, drug use, and sometimes aggression. Parents who insulate kids from the consequences of their behavior are only extending, supporting and reinforcing the bad judgments that lead to those behaviors.
The way trust is won back: for younger kids, they should be told what to do in order for the family to feel like they trust them again. "Don’t take your brother’s things so I can trust you to be upstairs alone. If you steal something from your older brother, you can’t go upstairs unsupervised."
Make the child uncomfortable. Consequences make them uncomfortable. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink—but you can make them thirsty. Consequences are designed to make the child thirsty.
In addition, positive statements about trust should be made frequently with younger kids. "When you handle it that way, I know I can trust you." Model the values you want your younger kids to have and identify them. Make statements like, "It’s good when you tell me the truth.
I know I can trust you downstairs with the TV. I know I can trust you to go into my bedroom." The more we say statements like that, that you see what your child is doing, or you hear what they’re saying, the more real it makes them feel.
With older kids who steal, it’s important to say, "You’ve lost my trust, and therefore you can’t go upstairs alone. I don’t think I’m going to be able to trust you around money again. So I’m going to close my bedroom door and you can’t go in anymore." There are parents who put locks on their doors, and I think kids should pay for those locks. But always give them a means to earn that trust back, either in that conversation or a subsequent one.
Is Your Child Stealing Chronically?
If a kid steals chronically, earning a parent’s trust back is the least of his problems. Because he’s already developing an alibi system that says it’s OK to hurt the people you love. There are plenty of parents who don’t trust their kids around their money and valuables.
In today’s society, parents are second class citizens and there’s almost a societal expectation that their kids will abuse them and that they should take it, and that’s just crazy. That expectation is expressed in justifications like, "All kids steal, all kids lie, kids sometimes lose their temper." But certainly all kids don’t lie or steal to the same degree, nor do all kids verbally abuse their parents and break things in the home. And when they do, they need to be held strictly accountable.
Right and Wrong: There is a Difference
I truly empathize with what parents are up against these days. The concept of right and wrong has taken a real beating in our recent history. It’s been replaced by the concepts of "consumerism" and "possessiveness."
Therefore, when you tell kids it is wrong to steal, they have limited formal moral and ethical training to use as a reference point, and whatever moral and ethical training they have is easily drowned out by the media, which screams at them constantly. And there’s too much excuse-making for kids’ behavior.
Adults say "It’s only a stage he’s going through." Or he has ADD. Or his father is an alcoholic. And they keep making those excuses until the kid is in serious trouble. Things like developmental stages or mental health diagnoses or family influences have to be dealt with as separate issues from the stealing or aggression.
Do these issues need to be addressed? Of course they do. Are they significant? Absolutely. Should they be allowed to justify stealing or aggression? Never. No matter what parents you have, no matter what mental health diagnosis, no matter what stage you’re in, it’s wrong to steal because it hurts others.
That has to be black and white to everybody.
About the author:
James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents. He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.
Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do? Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.
Dr. Marlene M. Maheu is the Editor-in-Chief of SelfHelpMagazine, an award winning online electronic-zine. and read more articles from Dr. Marlene and other professionals on how to reduce stress.
Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do? Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting
| By: Dr Marlene Maheu | |
|
Is Shoplifting the Same as Stealing?
Many parents have asked me over the years, "Is shoplifting a candy bar or cosmetics or clothes the same as stealing?" The truth is, stealing is stealing. It’s criminal, antisocial and worst of all, it corrodes a child’s development, character and integrity through the use of justifications and excuses. However, shoplifting candy bars from a store and stealing with aggression are two very different acts.
Stealing is wrong, and the best way to understand it is to examine your child’s thinking. Kids who steal often feel entitled to what they’re stealing, even though they or their parents can’t afford it.
There is a fierce sense of competitiveness amongst teens and pre-teens these days regarding having the cool stuff, wearing the hip clothes, and sporting hot make-up or accessories. Many kids will resort to stealing as a response to this phenomenon. Sometimes kids even steal for the sense of excitement it gives them, or do it under peer pressure.
A big part of the problem is that our society’s message is completely absent of a strongly objective morality. In most movies and songs today, the bad guys do good things and the good guys do bad things, and everybody looks the same. So kids justify what they’re doing. It’s not surprising when kids develop these ambivalent feelings about integrity, character and the difference between right and wrong.
The "Five Finger Discount"—What’s Behind a Child’s Thinking When He Shoplifts?
A child’s thinking behind this type of behavior is that "No one will get hurt and the store has a lot of money." They rationalize that they need to have this stuff in order to be accepted. They might say, "My parents won’t allow me to buy clothing or makeup like this, so I have to steal it."
But remember this: It’s our job as parents, teachers and therapists to strongly defend the concept that stealing is wrong. Tell your children this: "Stealing is wrong for two reasons: It’s illegal and puts you at risk of being arrested and prosecuted. It’s also hurtful because when you take something that doesn’t belong to you, somewhere, someone down the line is being hurt."
If your child is caught stealing, in all cases, there needs to be meaningful consequences for the behavior. To you as a parent, the most important aspect of your child's decision to steal is the way of thinking that preceded the stealing. She should pay whatever the consequences are for stealing, and also write an essay on how she justified it.
Ask her, "What were you thinking before you stole this?" Remember this: It is in the examination of the justifications and excuses where the true learning will take place.
Certainly consequences like making her take the stolen item back to the store, apologizing and making financial amends are all very good parts of the equation. That kind of accountability can be very productive in deterring future stealing, if accompanied by an examination of the faulty thinking which drove them to do it.
You also might give them the consequence of, "You can’t go to the mall for two weeks. Two weeks of no stealing." If parents ask me, "How do I know?" I say "Don’t worry about it. They need to get another chance. You’re not there to be a cop." Always give them the chance to earn your trust back.
Stealing with Aggression: A Whole Different Mindset
"Aggression" means a "threat of harm or violence or the use of harm or violence." Some kids have gotten to a level of stealing where they are willing to physically assault someone else to take what they want. When dealing with stealing with aggression, the focus has to be on very strong consequences to deter future behavior, as well as a very focused examination of the thoughts, not the feelings, the thoughts which underlie this type of behavior.
When people steal with aggression, they're clearly saying, "I want that bad enough that I’ll hurt you if you don’t give it to me," which is very different than a shoplifter who says, "This won’t hurt the company, they have a lot of money." It’s a very different mindset and has to be addressed with vigor.
Let me be clear: Stealing with aggression is hardcore antisocial behavior. When you deal with individuals who exhibit criminal behavior, you’ll often find that one-on-one, they can be very charming, pleasant, and intelligent. Many criminals have advanced social manipulative skills. The difference between a criminal and a non-criminal is that the criminal is willing to use violence and aggression to get what he wants, while the non-criminal has very strong boundaries in those areas.
So when children are willing to use violence and aggression to get their way, it can be a key indicator that they are quite far down the wrong path. Of course there are always isolated incidents where kids will threaten other kids to get their way. Adolescent bravado can sometimes lead to threats. The astute adult has to ferret out which is which. But make no mistake, if your child is using threats of violence and aggression to steal, he has to be dealt with very sternly.
Again, it is very difficult to counteract the media forces in our society which constantly advocate aggression and violence as legitimate means to solve problems. Our media promotes the idea that if you want or need something bad enough and you have a good excuse-making system in place, you can justify anything. And you can use aggression and violence to achieve your end.
So here’s the message kids are getting: "If you can justify it, then it’s OK to do it." And we all know that kids can justify anything. So society has to react very strongly to aggression and threats involving stealing or anything else. I mean, look around you. Look at all the violence and aggression, senseless killing. Now think about this: in the minds of the kids who are committing that violence they believe it’s the OK thing to do.
If you look beneath the violence, to the thinking patterns, it’s very scary. That’s why you see situations like Columbine and Virginia Tech, where kids commit horrible violence on other kids and justify it because they perceive themselves as victims. Stealing is wrong and hurtful. But stealing with aggression and violence is much more problematic and needs to be dealt with aggressively.
If Your Child is Stealing within the Family, Everyone is Paying the Price
It’s common to hear that kids steal from their family members. Younger kids after all don’t have the level of moral development that leads to them understanding that this type of stealing is wrong and hurtful. This has to be taught with patience and firmness.
Stealing within the family should have the same consequences as stealing from a store, whether it’s from a sibling or a parent. Labeling, yelling and name-calling does not change the behavior. Discussions about the rights of others and respect for other’s property, followed by a consequence the child must carry out, are the preferred ways of dealing with theft in the family.
For young children, a consequence might be that they go to their room with the door open for 15 minutes, at the end of which time you come in and talk with them about stealing. Focus on the child realizing he was wrong, instead of just saying he is sorry. As kids get older, other consequences come into play, like paying rent for the stolen property, paying back the stolen money, and loss of social privileges.
Tell them you’re taking away their privileges because you’re not sure they can be trusted outside of the house. Don’t forget that if someone is unsafe or untrustworthy in the house, there should be real concern about what kind of trouble they might get into outside of the house where there is even less structure.
Volume and frequency of the stealing are also important to address. If a pre-adolescent or adolescent steals a large amount of money, which is measured compared to what the family has, the police should be called and you should be starting the legal process. This is designed to hold that child legally responsible, not only family-responsible.
The assumption here is that you've tried all you can within the family and it’s not working, and that now the police have to get involved. Stealing is a crime. These acts should be looked at as criminal acts more than as mental health problems. While mental health issues may be involved, adults who have mental health problems are punished for stealing just like adults without mental health problems.
Prisons and correctional institutions are full of people with mental health problems who also stole. They're not in jail for mental health problems, they’re in jail for stealing.
If there’s a high frequency of theft, or stealing for no apparent reason or the hoarding of food, that can indicate deeper psychological forces at play. These kids need to be assessed to see if there’s a therapeutic response to their behavior. But make no bones about it, they also need to be held accountable in the home as well as outside of the home for their antisocial behavior.
Although stealing may be a symptom of a larger problem, it is still stealing. The lesson about not stealing has to be reinforced and the child has to be held accountable. We can’t make excuses about antisocial and harmful behavior even when it occurs in the home.
Remember, you’re trying to produce a person who can function safely and productively in adult society. Excusing stealing will not produce that person. Sometimes parents minimize this behavior and it comes back to hurt them later on.
When Your Trust is Betrayed: How to let Your Child Earn it Back
The sense of betrayal that parents feel after their child has stolen from them is very real and should be addressed openly. If it’s a younger child, certainly the emotion should be screened out of it, and your child should be taught about trust. The way you’d explain trust to a younger child is by saying, "Stealing is hurtful and if somebody trusts you, it’s important not to hurt them."
Explain that trust is really a word we use for depending upon other people to do certain things or to not do certain things. The stronger that our belief is that they won’t hurt us, the deeper the sense of violation is. As kids get older and become teens, I think that their loyalties and allegiances are torn between the values of their peer group and the values of their family. Very often there’s a contradiction between the two.
This contradiction needs to be tolerated by parents to a certain degree because the teenager’s developmental role is to become an individual. And one of the ways that teens do that is by pushing their parents away and by rebelling against family norms and values. A certain amount of rebelliousness should be tolerated.
Nonetheless, a teenager stealing from parents is not an act of rebelliousness. It’s a violation of trust and it’s the commission of a petty crime in an arena where the teen doesn’t feel there will be severe consequences.
If there are several acts of stealing, they should be dealt with sternly in the family, using the behavioral concepts that I mentioned earlier. If there is major stealing of money and other valuables, the parents should consider involving the police and pressing charges. Although this seems harsh, the principles behind it are easy to understand.
If a teen is stealing from you because he perceives you as being weak and if family consequences aren’t helping with that, the family needs to seek outside help in order to strengthen itself. Secondly, and this is very important, if kids get away with stealing valuables from home, they’re going to develop a value system which allows for stealing any time the person can justify it.
When I have gone to youth detention centers to talk to the teens I was working with about the crimes that got them there, they invariably had a justification for it. That type of justification, or what we call an "alibi system," is developed and reinforced at home. In short, teens develop a way of thinking to justify their teenage behavior. They develop an alibi for everything.
Once that alibi system becomes criminalized, you’ll see an increase in the amount of antisocial behavior such as stealing, drug use, and sometimes aggression. Parents who insulate kids from the consequences of their behavior are only extending, supporting and reinforcing the bad judgments that lead to those behaviors.
The way trust is won back: for younger kids, they should be told what to do in order for the family to feel like they trust them again. "Don’t take your brother’s things so I can trust you to be upstairs alone. If you steal something from your older brother, you can’t go upstairs unsupervised."
Make the child uncomfortable. Consequences make them uncomfortable. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink—but you can make them thirsty. Consequences are designed to make the child thirsty.
In addition, positive statements about trust should be made frequently with younger kids. "When you handle it that way, I know I can trust you." Model the values you want your younger kids to have and identify them. Make statements like, "It’s good when you tell me the truth.
I know I can trust you downstairs with the TV. I know I can trust you to go into my bedroom." The more we say statements like that, that you see what your child is doing, or you hear what they’re saying, the more real it makes them feel.
With older kids who steal, it’s important to say, "You’ve lost my trust, and therefore you can’t go upstairs alone. I don’t think I’m going to be able to trust you around money again. So I’m going to close my bedroom door and you can’t go in anymore." There are parents who put locks on their doors, and I think kids should pay for those locks. But always give them a means to earn that trust back, either in that conversation or a subsequent one.
Is Your Child Stealing Chronically?
If a kid steals chronically, earning a parent’s trust back is the least of his problems. Because he’s already developing an alibi system that says it’s OK to hurt the people you love. There are plenty of parents who don’t trust their kids around their money and valuables.
In today’s society, parents are second class citizens and there’s almost a societal expectation that their kids will abuse them and that they should take it, and that’s just crazy. That expectation is expressed in justifications like, "All kids steal, all kids lie, kids sometimes lose their temper." But certainly all kids don’t lie or steal to the same degree, nor do all kids verbally abuse their parents and break things in the home. And when they do, they need to be held strictly accountable.
Right and Wrong: There is a Difference
I truly empathize with what parents are up against these days. The concept of right and wrong has taken a real beating in our recent history. It’s been replaced by the concepts of "consumerism" and "possessiveness."
Therefore, when you tell kids it is wrong to steal, they have limited formal moral and ethical training to use as a reference point, and whatever moral and ethical training they have is easily drowned out by the media, which screams at them constantly. And there’s too much excuse-making for kids’ behavior.
Adults say "It’s only a stage he’s going through." Or he has ADD. Or his father is an alcoholic. And they keep making those excuses until the kid is in serious trouble. Things like developmental stages or mental health diagnoses or family influences have to be dealt with as separate issues from the stealing or aggression.
Do these issues need to be addressed? Of course they do. Are they significant? Absolutely. Should they be allowed to justify stealing or aggression? Never. No matter what parents you have, no matter what mental health diagnosis, no matter what stage you’re in, it’s wrong to steal because it hurts others.
That has to be black and white to everybody.
About the author:
James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents. He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.
Why is My Child Stealing and What Can I Do? Advice for Parents on Kids, Stealing and Shoplifting reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.
Dr. Marlene M. Maheu is the Editor-in-Chief of SelfHelpMagazine, an award winning online electronic-zine. and read more articles from Dr. Marlene and other professionals on how to reduce stress.
Jesse Duplantis Ministries Update _ Inspiring and Igniting Generational Thinking
Jesse Duplantis Ministries Update _ Inspiring and Igniting Generational Thinking ( Jan 09, 2018 )
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What We Believe
The Scriptures
The Bible is the inspired Word of God, the product of holy men of old who spoke and wrote as they were moved by the Holy Spirit. The new Covenant, as recorded in the New Testament, we accept as our infallible guide in matters pertaining to conduct and doctrine (2Tim. 3:16; 1Thess. 2:13; 2Peter 1:21).The Godhead
Our God is one, but manifested in three persons—the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, being co-equal (Phil. 2:6). God the Father is greater than all; the Source of the Word (Logos) and the Begetter (John 14:28; John 16:28; John 1:14). The Son is the Word flesh-covered, the One Begotten, and has existed with the Father from the beginning (John 1:1; John 1:14; John 1:18). The Holy Spirit proceeds forth from both the Father and the Son and is eternal (John 15:26).Man, His Fall, and Redemption
Man is a created being made in the likeness and the image of God, but through Adam’s transgression and fall, sin came into the world. “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God…” (Rom. 3:23) and “As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one…” (Rom. 3:10). Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was manifested to undo the work of the devil and He gave His life and shed His blood to restore man back to God (Rom. 3:23; 1John 3:8). Salvation is the gift of God to man, separate from works and the law, and is made operative by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, producing works acceptable to God (Eph. 2:8).Eternal Life and New Birth
Man’s first step toward salvation is godly sorrow that produces repentance. The new birth is necessary to all men, and when fulfilled, produces eternal life (2Cor. 7:10; 1John 5:12; John 3:3-5).Water Baptism
Baptism in water by immersion, is a direct commandment of our Lord, and is for believers only. The ordinance is a symbol of the Christian’s identification with Christ in His death, burial, and resurrection (Matt. 28:19; Rom. 6:4; Col. 2:12; Acts 8:36-39).Baptism In The Holy Ghost
The Baptism in the Holy Ghost and fire is a gift from God as promised by the Lord Jesus Christ to all believers in this dispensation and is received subsequent to the new birth. This experience is accompanied by the initial evidence of the speaking in other tongues as the Holy Spirit Himself gives utterance (Matt. 3:11; John 14:16,17; Acts 1:8; Act 19:1-7; Acts 2:4).Sanctification
The Bible teaches that without holiness, no man can see the Lord. We believe in the Doctrine of Sanctification as a definite, yet progressive work of grace, commencing at the time of regeneration and continuing until the consummation of salvation (Heb. 12:14; 1Thess. 5:23; 2Peter 3:18; 2Cor. 3:18; Phil. 3:12-14; 1Cor. 1:30).Divine Healing
Healing is for the physical ills of the human body and is wrought by the power of God through the prayer of faith, and by the laying on of hands. It is provided for in the atonement of Christ, and is the privilege of every member of the Church today (Mark 16:18; James 5:14-16; 1Peter 2:24; Matt. 8:17; Isa. 53:4-5).Resurrection of the Just and the Return of Our Lord
The angels said, “…this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven.” (Acts 1:11). His coming is imminent. When He comes, “For the Lord Himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.” (1Thess. 4:16,17). Following the tribulation, He shall return to earth as King of Kings, and Lord of Lords and together with His saints, who shall be kings and priests, He shall reign a thousand years (Rev. 20:6).Hell and Eternal Retribution
The one who physically dies in his sin without Christ is hopelessly and eternally lost in the Lake of Fire, and therefore, has no further opportunity of hearing the Gospel or repenting. The Lake of Fire is literal. The terms “eternal” and “everlasting” used in describing the duration of the punishment of the damned in the Lake of Fire, carry the same thought and meaning of endless existence as used in denoting the duration of joy and ecstasy of saints in the presence of God (Heb. 9:27; Rev. 19:20).COFFEE MAKES MY CLOTHES FALL OFF (2nd Continuation)
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Men and Women’s Track and Field Place 15th and 17th at Terrapin Invitational
LANDOVER, Md.
- The Bowie State University men and women’s indoor track and field
teams brought home 15th and 17th place finishes at the University of
Maryland
Terrapins Invitational held at the Prince George’s Sports and Learning
Complex on Saturday.
COMPLETE RESULTS
The Bulldog men were
led by the top five trio of Rashad Manning, Ikpefua Olumese and Jalen
Sykes. Manning finished third in the shot put (15.46m), Olumese placed
fourth in the 800 meter run (1:59.00) and Sykes
finished fifth in the 400 meter dash (51.83).
On the women's side,
De’Sha Manago claimed sixth in the shot put with a throw of 12.49m
while teammate Abigail Hunt came in seventh in the 400 meter dash with a
time of 1:00.56.
Shayna Flood and Mi'Janah Tolliver Selected to All-CIAA Cheerleading Team
CHARLOTTE, N.C. -
The Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association (CIAA) and its
Cheerleading Coaches Association announce the 2017-18 All-CIAA
Cheerleading Team.
Bowie State University's Shayna Flood and Mi'Janah Tolliver have been
named to the All-CIAA Cheerleading Team. Flood is a senior from Largo,
Md. and Tolliver is a junior from Bogalusa, La.
FULL RELEASE
Twenty-three standout student-athletes have been selected for their leadership and athletic abilities contributing to the success of their respective institutions. These outstanding athletes will be recognized at Super Saturday of the CIAA Basketball Tournament on March 3, 2018 as part of the cheerleading exhibition.
University of the District of Columbia Announces 7th Annual Athletics Hall of Fame Induction Class; Induction Ceremony and Dinner to be Held February 16th, 2018 in Student Center Ballroom
WASHINGTON, DC – The University of the District of Columbia Department of Athletics is proud to announce the 7th Annual Athletics Hall of Fame Induction Class. The celebration will be held on February 16th, 2018 at the UDC Student Center Ballroom.
Event Details
Date: Friday, February 16th, 2018
Time: 6:00 p.m. Reception; 7:00 p.m. Dinner and Induction Ceremony
Location:
UDC Student Center Ballroom
4200 Connecticut Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20008
Tickets: To purchase tickets, click here
Parking: Parking is available at the University garage off of Van Ness Street
Metro: UDC Student Center is located adjacent to the UDC-Van Ness Red Line metro station
*For more information, please visit the Hall of Fame page on the UDC Athletics Website.
University of the District of Columbia 7th Annual Hall of Fame Induction Class:
Bennie F. Adams, Jr.
District of Columbia Teachers College – 1966
Baseball and Football Student-Athlete & Coach
Bennie Adams, Jr. played varsity
baseball from 1963-1966 and two years of football for the Cougars. He
excelled in baseball, captaining the team and earning Team Most Valuable
Player honors in both his final two seasons. He played three different
positions over his career, including pitcher, shortstop and catcher, and
his claim to fame was his one-hit shutout he pitched against Howard
University in 1964.
Phillip Stevens
District of Columbia Teachers College – 1976
Basketball and Football Student-Athlete
A dual-sport standout in football and
basketball at District of Columbia Teachers College, Phillip Stevens
earned five varsity letters (three in football, two in basketball) and
was the last DCTC student-athlete to win the Reslyn Woodruff Henley
Award in 1976. An outstanding quarterback, Stevens completed 17
touchdown passes over his three-year career (1971-73) and ran one in
himself during his freshman season as well. He started at quarterback
the final five games of the season as a freshman and carried his team to
five straight victories – the program's longest ever win streak. He
also played two seasons of basketball from 1974-1976.
Carolyn Wells
UDC – 1980
Track & Field Student-Athlete
Carolyn Wells represented the University
of the District of Columbia in several track meets from 1977-1980,
including: the North Carolina State Invitational, William & Mary
Invitational, CYO Invitational, Richmond Invitational, AIAW
Championship, University of Maryland Invitational, and the Howard
University Relays. She ran in the US Olympic Trials in Eugene, Oregon in
1976 where she was a semifinalist in the 400 meter, and she won the 400
meter Intermediate Hurdles at the 1978 Penn Relays.
Alice Butler
University of the District of Columbia - 1984
Basketball Student-Athlete
A transfer student-athlete from American
University who competed for UDC Athletic Hall of Fame head coach Bessie
Stockard, Alice Butler was instrumental in lifting the young University
of the District of Columbia women's basketball program to prominence in
the early 1980's. A top-10 nationally-ranked performer in the points
per-game and rebounding statistical categories, she was considered the
most outstanding intercollegiate women's basketball student-athlete in
Washington, DC. As outstanding as she was on the basketball court, she
was equally as outstanding in the classroom, becoming UDC's first ever
College Sports Information Directors of America (CoSIDA) Academic
All-American in 1981.
Edwin B. Henderson
Miner Normal School - 1904
Basketball Student-Athlete & Coach
Known as the "Father of Black
Basketball" because of his efforts at making Washington, DC known as the
"Birthplace of Black Basketball", Edwin Bancroft Henderson was a
prolific basketball athlete. Well-known for his leaping ability, he
played center – which, at the time was a critical position because each
basket was followed by a jump ball. He graduated first in his class at
Miner Normal School in 1904, then went on to attend Howard University
Medical School until it closed and he ultimately enrolled at Harvard
University. He was the first black man certified to teach physical
education in the United States, formed the first African American
Athletic Conference (ISAA), organized the 12th Street Colored
YMCA (where his team won the 1909 Black National Championship), and
coached the first Howard U. varsity basketball team to an undefeated and
World Basketball Championship season in 1910. He also co-edited the
Spalding Official Handbook from 1910-1913, formed the Public School
Athletic League in 1914, founded the Eastern Board of Officials, and he
helped integrate AAU boxing.
Later, in 1918, he formed the first
Rural Branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored
People (NAACP) in Falls Church, VA. He authored two books: The Negro in Sports (1938), and The Black Athlete: Emergence and Arrival (1968).
Henderson was inducted into the Black
Athletes Hall of Fame in 1974, and in 2013 he was inducted into the
Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame.
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Here are a few of our favorite new arrivals for women.
Champion Chalky Canvas
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Studio Dash
The Studio Dash brings new meaning to grab-and-go. This slip-on style has a neoprene heel for added comfort, making it the perfect companion for the girl on the fly.
Here are a few of our favorite new arrivals for women.
Champion Chalky Canvas
The classic Champion style gets a spring refresh with two new pastel colors, Pale Iris and Rose Pink. The cushioned Ortholite insole adds an extra spring to your step no matter what the day brings.
Champion Embroidered Triangle
This embroidered style gets a cool upgrade with gold hardware. Its soft, breathable chambray lining makes this an easy-breezy style to take you through the season.
Studio Dash
The Studio Dash brings new meaning to grab-and-go. This slip-on style has a neoprene heel for added comfort, making it the perfect companion for the girl on the fly.
Discover the new Joie collection of women’s ready-to-wear shoes and accessories inspired by a Paris-meets-California lifestyle. From work to the weekend, these staple pieces have you covered. As always, enjoy free shipping and returns on U.S. orders at Joie.
Here are a few of our favorite pieces.
Adotte Chambray Top
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Aeolia Jacket
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Addiena Silk Pant
These silk lounge pants feature the perfect vintage pajama-inspired stripe. Pair with a sweater for a laid-back weekend look.
Here are a few of our favorite pieces.
Adotte Chambray Top
This ruffled chambray top is a feminine spin on a classic menswear style. Dress it up with black slacks or down with light wash denim jeans.
Aeolia Jacket
The classic wool peacoat gets a style upgrade with surprise bell sleeves. From work to the weekend, this signature piece will be at the front of your wardrobe.
Addiena Silk Pant
These silk lounge pants feature the perfect vintage pajama-inspired stripe. Pair with a sweater for a laid-back weekend look.
Whatever your skincare goals may be, achieve them with L’Occitane en Provence’s luxurious facial products. Brighten, tighten, and moisturize with these best sellers for women.
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Immortelle Divine Eye Balm
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Shea Butter Light Comforting Cream
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Reine Blanche Brightening Cream
Restore the clarity of your skin with this rich brightening cream. Reine des Pres, a pure white flower known for its brightening properties, combines with Vitamin C to leave your skin feeling comfortable, smooth, and hydrated.
Immortelle Divine Eye Balm
Visibly reduce the appearance of dark circles and puffiness with this rich eye balm. This balm sinks easily into delicate skin around the eyes to tighten and leave it feeling soothed and comfortable.
Shea Butter Light Comforting Cream
This silky and non-greasy cream is a dream for even the driest of skin. It’s formulated with 5% shea butter to answer the needs of normal to combination skin, including sensitive skin types.
With the 2018 Winter Games around the corner, show your spirit with Team USA gear from Fanatics.
Team USA Infant Three-Pack Starflake Skiier Bodysuit Set
Even the littlest of Team USA fans can join in on the Olympic fun. These three bodysuits are soft, comfortable, and cheerful for kids up to 9 months.
Team USA Women's Lightweight French Terry Pullover Sweatshirt
Keep warm while showing your support in this lightweight women’s pullover sweater. Perfect for layering or wearing alone while watching the games.
Team USA Nike Classic Performance Adjustable Hat
This one-of-a-kind classic hat was made for superfans. Constructed with Dri-FIT technology that wicks away moisture, you can keep your cool even when the pressure is on.
Team USA Infant Three-Pack Starflake Skiier Bodysuit Set
Even the littlest of Team USA fans can join in on the Olympic fun. These three bodysuits are soft, comfortable, and cheerful for kids up to 9 months.
Team USA Women's Lightweight French Terry Pullover Sweatshirt
Keep warm while showing your support in this lightweight women’s pullover sweater. Perfect for layering or wearing alone while watching the games.
Team USA Nike Classic Performance Adjustable Hat
This one-of-a-kind classic hat was made for superfans. Constructed with Dri-FIT technology that wicks away moisture, you can keep your cool even when the pressure is on.
Breathe new life into your spring wardrobe with colorful florals, flirty heels, and statement accessories at prices that work for you from TJ Maxx.
Here are a few of our favorite new arrivals for spring.
Larry Levine Floral Print Dress
Simple and sweet, this floral print dress pairs perfectly with a cardigan for work or a denim jacket for weekend brunch.
Bandolino Two-Piece Block Heels
Add some interest to your wardrobe with these metallic gold heels. They add the perfect pop to skinny jeans or pencil skirts.
Le Miel Textured Leather Crossbody
The classic crossbody gets an edgy upgrade with this textured design. Pair with a classic black dress for the night or with a graphic t-shirt and jeans for the day.
Here are a few of our favorite new arrivals for spring.
Larry Levine Floral Print Dress
Simple and sweet, this floral print dress pairs perfectly with a cardigan for work or a denim jacket for weekend brunch.
Bandolino Two-Piece Block Heels
Add some interest to your wardrobe with these metallic gold heels. They add the perfect pop to skinny jeans or pencil skirts.
Le Miel Textured Leather Crossbody
The classic crossbody gets an edgy upgrade with this textured design. Pair with a classic black dress for the night or with a graphic t-shirt and jeans for the day.
As one of 2018’s hottest decorating trends, pink and burgundy come together to create sophisticated interiors with enough style to weather every season.
Here are a few of our favorite pieces from CB2.
20" Linon Rose Pillow
This laid-back luxe pillow is ready to layer and lounge in. The millennial pink shade adds the perfect pop of color to any decor.
Hudson Graphic Shag Rug
Deep purple, pink, blue, and gold weave together in this gorgeous boho rug. Its worn-in look makes it a warm piece for a living room or bedroom.
Hanna Pink Table Lamp
A midcentury style gets a modern upgrade in this dome lamp. Place it on a side table or desk to add instant style.
Here are a few of our favorite pieces from CB2.
20" Linon Rose Pillow
This laid-back luxe pillow is ready to layer and lounge in. The millennial pink shade adds the perfect pop of color to any decor.
Hudson Graphic Shag Rug
Deep purple, pink, blue, and gold weave together in this gorgeous boho rug. Its worn-in look makes it a warm piece for a living room or bedroom.
Hanna Pink Table Lamp
A midcentury style gets a modern upgrade in this dome lamp. Place it on a side table or desk to add instant style.
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